The rags of time
by Lil Miss Potter
Summary: ABANDONED Time waits for no man, but it will bend to the will of a wizard. Harry propells himself back to 1977 and gets to see firsthand the real reason his father chose to grow up.
1. Chapter 1

After religiously following time travel stories for almost a year now I thought it was high time I wrote my own. So here it is and I hope you like it, though it's a bit slow at the start. At this point I would like to add that none of this belongs to me its j.k.rowlings, all this is set after ootp and if you haven't read it what are you doing wasting your time on the internet when there is the most amazing book in the world out there to read.

this story is rated pg13 because of the occasional bad language but it will never get too extreme.  
  
Marauders' life  
  
Two laughing boys scrambled through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. Even before looking into their faces the entire house knew who the laughs belonged too. Those two laughs, identical bark-like laughs had become legendary in the five years that the two lads had attended Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
Possibly the biggest troublemakers Hogwarts had ever seen had returned for their sixth year.  
  
As thick as thieves, like brothers the two boys were, and together they made a seamless team, one seeing what the other did not. It was rumoured they could even read each others thoughts, though the idea was bizarre.  
  
They should have been polar opposites, despised each other and fought against each other. But that was all changed five years ago when an old hat shouted an unexpected word.  
  
'Gryffindor'  
  
The first of the two sixth years was the taller, he had dark hair that fell into his eyes and held himself with a self-assured confidence and elegance that many powerful wizards from dark families were taught to do. For this boy was Sirius Black, the oldest son of the noble and most ancient house of Black, known for their dislike of Muggleborns and half-bloods.  
  
The second was at least two inches shorter than his friend, with hair that stuck up in every possible direction naturally yet he disguised the fact by constantly messing it up himself in the hope it looked deliberate. For in his opinion, nothing did what he didn't want it to do. James Potter, the heir to a family that, in their beliefs couldn't be more different than his partner in crime's. Mr and Mrs Potter had taught their son that everyone was equal and thus should be treated so.  
  
Needless to say neither parents had much effect on their child.  
  
Sirius rejected the beliefs of his family after they rejected him. That happened only when he started Hogwarts, and was sorted into the house that all Blacks despised, Gryffindor, the house of the brave and the daring. But for James, his parents were proud, they would have accepted him from any house but the fact he was sorted into the house of their childhood was extremely pleasing.  
  
Yet James Potter did not, at this point in his life believe all wizards were equal, neither did the 'light' Sirius Black. In their opinion, they were above everyone. On many occasions this did not really matter, sure they had a little fun, ran amuck, skipped a few classes, but lessons could be learned at a later date, especially if you had brains like these boys did.  
  
No, it was when the troublesome two encountered Slytherins that problems occurred. Despite arguing on the side of the light, that all wizards should be treated equally, when it came to those were in the supposedly 'dark' house, the teenagers had no patience. They could not look past the house and see the person, at least not at this stage in their life.  
  
One of their main targets was a young wizard named Severus Snape. Snape was traditionally from a 'dark' family line. A line of Wizards that believed only pure bloods should learn magic. Although this didn't really apply to either James or Sirius as they were from pureblood lines, both boys had a tendency to like a fight and so had picked a one with the greasy haired slytherin since the first term. A huge rivalry had developed, one that was not altogether fair, seen as it usually resulted in the two against one.  
  
Through all their trouble and detention the two boys had become only closer, and despite all their negative qualities even the teachers had to smile at the two dark heads when they were bent together. Though usually the smiles did not last long after the plan Sirius and James were scheming came to light.  
  
It was however known that they would trust each other with their lives and at the time when Voldemort had been around for about seven years it was important to have loyal friends.  
  
This was known to a third sixth year who had watched the two enter the common room over the book he was reading with a worried look. What had the two done to warrant such happiness. No doubt it was a small duel with their favourite slytherin, after all what year hadn't started with a quick disagreement. The two boys caught the eye of their watcher and made their way over grinning at their sandy haired friend.  
  
'Moony dude! What you doing? Homework already? You just missed our greatest show yet!'  
  
The sixth year known fondly as Moony inwardly groaned. Sirius and James' attacks on Snape had got worse as their knowledge of spells increased. Remus hated to think about what they would do to one another after they graduated, when there was no teacher to approach and break it up. Especially with Snape well on his way of becoming a junior death eater, a follower of Voldemort.  
  
Hell, even now the teachers had very little effect on his two friends. It was only McGonagall who still held a threat to the boys. Quidditch. It was the only way she could keep them in line. As head of the house she had ultimate control on who was on the team, despite James being captain. Therefore it was only to retain their vital places on the team that Sirius and James usually towed the line in the transfiguration teacher's presence. Usually.  
  
Remus Lupin had vowed to make sure his friends kept out of trouble after Hogwarts, or at least lived and stayed out of prison. For he was the third of their little group. Lesser known than the others, for he had a secret that kept him out of the limelight and stopped him from thinking he was Merlin's gift to Hogwarts. Once a month, on the full moon Remus became a werewolf. It was for this reason that he could see past the show off exterior that his friends put on as they revealed their better qualities to him.  
  
They knew of course after spending years in the same dormitory but instead of shunning him, like he believed they would, they stood by him and saw what was behind the werewolf, just as the werewolf could see what was behind the large egos. They used their magic to help him, turning his curse into an adventure when they joined him and ran rampage around the castle on a full moon. As a stag and a large dog, the two could keep the wolf out of trouble whilst still having fun.  
  
Remus always worried though. It was part of his character, something other than his lycanthropy that was turning some of his hair prematurely grey. What if his friends were discovered? If someone found out they were illegal animagi they could get in serious trouble and then where would that leave him. He wished they wouldn't attract so much attention to themselves, especially from Snape, who Remus knew as a Slytherin was always sneaking around.  
  
Sirius knew this and immediately realised his mistake in boasting to his quiet friend. However he didn't admit to mistakes and he never apologised so instead he took hold of Remus, nodded to James and the two of them picked up Remus and dragged him into their dormitory, leaving his book behind.  
  
The entire common room watched as the sandy haired boy began to struggle, saying he needed to finish his book, he wanted peace and quiet but his capturers took no notice, nor did anyone expect them too and as they a loud tut came from the other side of the room.  
  
It came from Lily Evans, so similar to the previous two boys yet so very different. They were both in sixth year yet Lily was mature. They were both intelligent yet Lily worked. They were both well-liked yet Lily didn't let it go to her head. Lily was exceedingly pretty yet she hated it when the subject was brought up. Which it frequently was, by one, James Potter.  
  
For years now, it had frustrated James greatly that despite all his good looks and quidditch skill he could not win over Lily. These qualities that impressed the rest of the girls at Hogwarts only seemed to disgust Lily.  
  
In fact he would never forget the previous year when she had said she would rather date the giant squid that dwelled in the lake than date him. He felt this was rather unfair, especially since he was defending her at the time from name calling. Yet he knew Lily didn't need anyone defending her. It was if he admitted it, the thing he liked about her. He liked her not for her stunning green eyes, her long red hair and her gorgeous figure although of course like all teenage boys it was these qualities he talked about when he was with the lads, but it was her spirit that really made her so interesting.  
  
Unfortunately for James it was the same quality that had sparked so many disagreements between the two, causing her to hate him and refuse his offers every time.  
  
Just after the whole commotion had ended and the common room had returned to its usual state, a shorter rat like wizard came running through the portrait hole panting. Looking around he stopped, and after finding the people he was looking for were not in the room he ran straight into the sixth year dormitory. His actions were mostly unnoticed.  
  
The fourth Gryffindor sixth year was as different from his friends as chalk is from cheese. He was silent unless he was praising the others, he was unknown unless it was as a tag-along, and he was cowardly unless he knew his friends were there to take care of him.  
  
Well- matched to his personality, his animagi form was a rat, small and useless when it came to taking care of the werewolf. He had, after much help from the others managed to transform and join his friends on their midnight wanderings but he only went so as not to miss out on any fun the others would have without him.  
  
That was the four of them, the Gryffindor sixth year boys, known to each other privately as Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, the notorious marauders. Not even the teachers knew the true extent of the mischief these four created on a full moon.  
  
It would be a full 18 years before even the great Albus Dumbledore learnt of the truth, and in those 18 years the situations of these four boys would have changed dramatically.  
  
Harry's life  
  
Twenty years after the marauders graced Hogwarts, the new generation of eager students entered the great hall and after the feast the new Gryffindor sixth year boys made their way to the same dormitory Remus had been dragged to all those years ago.  
  
These boys lacked the same happy spirit that had lived there long ago, and were no where near as close a group as that that once stayed there.  
  
Five of them entered the room. The mood was sombre, after all there was a war going on and these five were right in the middle of it all. A war in which Lord Voldemort, in his second rise to power was wrecking havoc on both the wizarding world and muggle world alike.  
  
As heir to Salazar Slytherin, one of the great founders of Hogwarts, Voldemort had not only inherited his great power but shared his hatred of muggles, muggle-born wizards and half-bloods. He had his ways of disposing of those he hated, as the five gryffindors knew only too well.  
  
The first to enter was an Irish wizard, shorter than the rest with a sullen look upon his face. After all Seamus Finnigan's parents had been missing for three weeks now. With his father being a muggle, the family had known they could be a target and Seamus was now losing hope of their safety.  
  
The second young man was tall and dark haired and the expression on his face showed how much he truly felt for his best friend as he attempted a smile in the hope of brightening the room. Yet as a muggleborn, Dean Thomas had a lot to worry about with his own family.  
  
The third had grown a lot over the summer, it was clear to those who knew him that he had grown in confidence also after the events of the previous year. Neville Longbottom, thought long to be a squib, had proved his worth by duelling with the dreaded followers of Voldemort, Death Eaters. In doing so he felt he could honor his parents memories. No, Neville's parents, Frank and Alice had not been murdered but driven mad by the dark lord using the crucious curse and they could no longer recognise their only son.  
  
There was a desperate look upon the next boys face. From his ginger hair it was clear he was a Weasley and thankfully all the Weasley clan were relatively well but it was for his best friend that Ron Weasley worried about.  
  
Through his five years he had grown close to Harry Potter, the boy who lived. It was a friendship to rival that of twenty years previous as these two boys, together with the third of their golden trio, Hermione Granger, had been into more life threatening situations than someone of their age should even read about. They had trusted each other with their lives year after year after year and proved to be reliable.  
  
But it was dangerous to be a friend to Harry Potter, the fifth boy who entered last into the dormitory. Any happiness that existed in the room was sucked out by his presence, almost like a dementor. For Harry had not spoken a word to any of the other boys since his arrival and he had said barely a hello to Ron when they met three weeks ago in the holidays at headquarters.  
  
His once sparkling green eyes were like pools of darkness, the happiness drained from them giving the young man, whose features had grown predominant due to lack of food and strenuous exercise, a haunted look.  
  
This however, was hardly to be expected. Harry Potter felt he was the reason for all the suffering, although in reality he was the reason why people had been free of suffering for thirteen years.  
  
When Harry was one he had defeated Lord Voldemort, reducing him to a spirit, forcing him to flee to Albania. This did not mean a happy life though for the saviour of the Wizarding World. In the process, Harry's parents had died, giving their lives to save his. Even with his sad history though, Harry had not always been this depressed and quiet.  
  
At the end of his fourth year Harry witnessed the death of a fellow student and unwillingly gave his blood for a potion that allowed the dark lords spirit to take bodily form. Even with all the quilt he felt the previous year, Harry had never bottled up his feelings. He had instead become increasingly hormonic and angry at everyone, for he had a quick temper much like his godfathers.  
  
His godfather. Sirius Black. The reason for the pain and agony Harry felt. Sirius, the substitute father, brother and friend had fallen in battle at the hands of his own cousin Bellatrix Lestrange. Harry had tried to blame Bellatrix, he had even tried to cast an unforgivable on her but he couldn't. The reason being in his heart, as much as he blamed the witch, he blamed himself more. Sirius had entered the battle only to get Harry out of trouble after he had been lured to the death eaters under false pretences.  
  
Harry had spent three weeks at the Dursleys locked in his room dwelling on his guilt. He refused to cry, that would let his pain out and he felt he didn't deserve to relieve himself of the pain. Refusing to eat gave him extreme pain in his stomach but this only pleased him. He deserved the pain.  
  
The only thing he could do was to sit and read through his school books. Hermione would be proud if he told her, but of course he wouldn't. He didn't want people to be proud of him, he didn't deserve it. But he had already mastered occulmency and was keen to use his wand to test out the theory he had learnt.  
  
He was planning for a battle, a battle he would have to fight eventually against Voldemort. It would end in a showdown and Harry knew it. It was either him or Voldemort and he had sworn to himself that there would only be one more death on his head and for that he would feel no guilt, only relief. After all the young boy Tom Riddle had already died, what was existing now and terrorising the world was barely human, clearly had no heart or conscience and so Harry would treat him thus.  
  
His friends, however, even his closest ones knew nothing of the prophesy that Dumbledore had shared with him at the end of the previous year. He had kept it inside, he didn't want his friends to know he wanted to murder, how could they bare to look him in the eyes? But then how could they anyway, they knew he had murdered Sirius. Tell me what you think, thanks Kate o


	2. Chapter 2

That night the marauders sat up late, chatting, planning, joking. Who ever said boys didn't gossip. Unfortunately the quartet had only met up once in the holidays and that had been a full moon so the lads had plenty to catch up on.

Over the next few weeks Harry only got worse. He stopped coming to all his lessons, even Defence which was taught by Lupin. Ron suggested it was probably because he was too advanced for it all already but Hermione, ever the insightful one knew better. She had been watching her dark friend over the month and had seen the great burden he was carrying.

She believed the reason Harry spent the day reading in the room of requirement rather than attend DADA was because he believed Remus hated him. He blamed himself for ruining Remus' life; after all it was all fine until Harry came along. Harry blamed himself not only for his godfather's death but also for his parents, and he even thought it was his fault Wormtail had had the chance to turn traitor. Consequently he couldn't speak with Lupin, a cursed man, that Harry felt thanks to him, had been condemned to months of transformations alone, without his pack.

As Harry sat in the room of requirement his frustrations took over him. Screaming in agony due to a combination of spiritual and physical pain from his scar he began to shake uncontrollably around the room. He wanted to be free, to give up and be with the people he had always wanted to share his life with. But he was needed here, he had a score to settle, and if he didn't do it no one could, not even Dumbledore - that much had been made clear in the prophesy.

The days went on and Harry grew worse, sitting alone in his private mourning chamber he daily flew curses at walls wandlessly, his tears giving him bursts of energy. On a particular Friday morning, the hour he was supposed to be in Lupin's defense class the constant fighting for life without food for energy finally got the better of the wizarding worlds saviour. Harry passed out, luckily landing on some well placed bean bags.

When Harry came around a few hours later he noted that the house elves had been into the room. There lying by him was a glass of orange juice and two slices of toast. Forgetting his fast in his recovery Harry picked up the toast and ate it. In fact he was so starving he managed both slices before he remembered his self-inflicted diet. His stomach felt full, he felt good, and that wasn't right. How could he feel good when because of him people were suffering everyday? Not just wizards but the innocent muggles Voldemort took to torture.

How could he have been so selfish as to eat? But then again, Harry thought, he's always been selfish. If he hadn't been so selfish he wouldn't have gone to the ministry last year. It was for his own personal glory he had done that, Sirius had never really been in any danger and deep down Harry felt he should have known that. Snape was right, Harry just loved being the world's precious boy who lived.

These ridiculous thoughts outraged the boy, only power wise, he was no longer a boy. No boy was able to snap a neck with the click of his fingers, or bring on a storm simply by feeling mad. No boy would seriously train himself for months for murder. No, the boy had been forced to grow up prematurely. He thought himself a man now, for that's what he was doing, he wasn't attending school, and he was living the life of a man. The sad truth was, he wasn't a man, just a lost little boy who had the weight of hundreds of deaths on his conscience and sometimes, lost little boys like to break down and cry.

As Harry sobbed into the remaining crust on his plate, the power he had been storing rose to the surface and Harry tried to rid himself of such great emotions. However being a wizard he no longer had to throw objects by hand. Using his mind the various books, maps and magical gadgets began to hurl around the room, even the now soggy crusts from his toast. Hurling out of control, Harry broke down. Having not allowed himself to cry for months he did so and it confused him so much. He wanted to cry but he didn't want himself to cry. In his emotional turmoil he grew angry at himself. Unknown to him various spinning objects began to disappear out of the thin air, or others were replaced by others.

Things happened during this storm of emotions, unnatural things that shouldn't have happened but Harry was too preoccupied to notice.

The frustration stopped as Harry leant forward and was violently sick. A combination of the energy and the stomach being unused to being fed caused the teenager to vomit. Most of the objects crashed to the floor. A further crash followed and Harry hoped the walls were soundproof. After all it was required of the room so he expected it would be. Books fell apart on the floor or hit more delicate objects causing them to break. He was sure he recognised some of the objects from Dumbledore's office but couldn't understand how they appeared here.

Harry nodded his head and all the objects wizzed back to their places, although there were several gaps and some objects that had no place. They didn't belong. Harry groaned, he felt awful. He felt himself wishing he wasn't Harry Potter. No that was wrong; he just wished Harry Potter wasn't the same Harry Potter he was. If only he could change time. But that was impossible, even for a wizard of the highest calibre.

please dont hate me for taking this long to write more. and im soo sorry that its still moving a little slow but, you know i hope you can see where this is going now. any probs, give me a review, andy queries, give me a review. come on you know the drill! i know the bit about the marauders was a little wierd, i meant to write a bit more in there but had no inspiration, may add it in later, the mo, it simply serves as a contrast.

oh! and a prize if anyone recognises the title of the story. what famous piece of literature is it from?


	3. Chapter 3

im such a bad writer, after all the reviews i recieved for the first chapter it still took me this long to motivate my self to update again. im so soryy for all those who reviewed at first and i thank you so much for the lovely compliments.

Okay, so this chapter is basically just the reason my story started. i wrote it about two years ago, befre the rest of the story, hence why the marauders are a little out of character but i couldn't really be bothered to rewrite it, its not really central to the plot, just explains a bit of action to come. anyway its basically the marauders reading the third book, so if you feel that this doesnt interest you, just skip this chapter, like i said, its not central to the story. just explains why our favourite characters decide to do a bit of time skipping back and forth etc. all to come.

btw i own none of this, it belongs to the great jkrowling and all the bold comes straight out the harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban, one of my personal favourites. thankyou

The four boys entered the sixth year dormitory. Two had identical large grins on, the other looked like an excited child yet the fourth had a sort of subdued look to his face. This was easily explained. James and Sirius had just attacked Snape or Snivilous as they'd rather refer to him as. Peter of course was in a good mood, as long as they weren't hexing him life was great, but Lupin always felt bad. He was the prefect among them. He thought Dumbledore must have hoped he could control his friend's habits, but he was failing, and he really didn't want to let Dumbledore down. After all he was the only one who had originally accepted him, despite his lycanthropy.

As they entered their pig sty, amazingly they managed to notice one oddly placed book, lying on James' bed. Not recognising the book, Sirius picked it up; it looked far more interesting than a normal school textbook. After all it was red and purple. The title of the book made him laugh, 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban'.

Thinking it had something to do with his friend James he flicked to the first chapter, and he began to read aloud, confusing his friends who nevertheless listened closely. After reading the title however, the book was snatched from his hands by Sirius.

**Chapter One Owl Post…**

**Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more then any other time of year.**

'Of course he would, there's no slytherins around to prank in the summer' James explained.

'My dear Prongs, you forget my brother Regulus' Sirius laughed, 'still I'd rather be at school that stuck at Grimmauld place any day'

'What you on about Siri, you're spending the whole summer with me at the hollow, no arguments', James reassured his friend.

Remus decided to change the subject and read further…

**For another, he really wanted to do his homework, but was forced to do it in secret, in the dead of night. And he also happened to be a wizard. **

'What's so unusual about that?' peter asked

'It's a muggle book you dunce!' Remus answered.

**It was nearly midnight, and he was lying on his front in bed, the blankets drawn right over his head like a tent, a flashlight in one hand and a large leather-bound book (_A History of Magic_, by Bathilda Bagshot) **

'Read it' Remus exclaimed

'Didn't' James and Sirius joked simultaneously.

**propped open against the pillow. Harry moved the tip of his eagle-feather quill down the page, frowning as he looked for something that would help him write his essay, "_Witch Burning in the Fourteenth Century Was Completely Pointless - discuss._"**

'Whoever wrote this book had little imagination. Binns set us that essay in third year, remember?' Remus asked.

'Err... no' James replied, sending Sirius off into fits of laughter. In public, they were the marauders, the most popular group in the school. But when the four sixteen year old boys got together they were just James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, four friends who liked to have a laugh, and if the truth be known had very immature senses of humour.

**The quill paused at the top of a likely-looking paragraph. Harry pushed his round glasses up the bridge of his nose, moved his flashlight closer to the book, and read:**

**_Non-magic people (more commonly known as Muggles)_ _were particularly afraid of magic in medieval times, but not very good at recognizing it. One the rare occasion that they did catch a real witch or wizard, burning had no effect whatsoever, The witch or wizard would perform a basic Flame Freezing Charm and then pretend to shriek with pain while enjoying a gentle, tickling sensation. Indeed, Wendelin the Weird enjoyed being burned so much that she allowed herself to be caught no less then forty-seven times in various disguises. _**

'Bloody Wendelin, all her fault we had to write that essay.' Groaned Peter, who was never any good at essays.

**Harry put his quill between his teeth and reached underneath his pillow for his ink bottle and a roll of parchment. Slowly and very carefully he unscrewed the ink bottle, dipped his quill into it, and began to write, pausing every now and then to listen, because if any of the Dursleys heard the scratching of his quill on their way to the bathroom, he'd probably find himself locked in the cupboard under the stairs for the rest of the summer. The Dursley family of number four, Privet Drive, was the reason that Harry never enjoyed his summer holidays. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and their son Dudley, were Harry's only living relatives. They were muggles, and they had a medieval attitude toward magic. Harry's dead parents, who had been a witch and wizard themselves were never mentioned under the Dursleys roof. **

'For a book that was sent for a joke that's really not so funny,' Sirius said, 'especially if they were Potters, they're like… my family'

**For years Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had hoped that if they kept Harry as downtrodden as possible, they would be able to squash the magic out of him.**

'I'd like to see someone squash the magic out of me eh?'

'Shut up Sirius' James said as he hit his friend. James took the book off Sirius and opened it as if to read it himself, then thought better of it and through the book at Remus, who obediently continued.

**To their fury, they had been unsuccessful. These days they lived in terror of anyone finding out that Harry had spent most of the last two years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry. The most they could do, however, was to lock Harry's spellbooks, wand, cauldron, and broomstick at the start of the summer break, and forbid him to talk to the neighbors. This separation from his spellbooks had been a real problem for Harry, because his teachers at Hogwarts had given him a lot of holiday work. One of the essays, a particularly nasty one about shrinking potions, was for Harry's least favorite teacher, Professor Snape, who would be delighted to have an excuse to give Harry detention for a month.**

'Ha, Snape a professor, poor poor students, they'd get dripped on' laughed Sirius.

Peter came up with a suggestion, 'perhaps this book is full of the impossible. One of our friends, thinking we'll find it funny'

For once the marauders thought Peter had come out with something intelligent.

**Harry had therefore seized his chance in the first week of the holidays. While Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley had gone out in the front garden to admire Uncle Vernon's new company car (in very loud voices, so that the rest of the street would notice it too), Harry had crept downstairs, picked the lock on the cupboard under the stairs, grabbed some of his books, and hidden them in his bedroom.**

'Done like a true marauder!'

**As long as he didn't leave spots of ink on the sheets, the Dursleys need never know that he was studying magic by night. Harry was keen to avoid trouble with his aunt and uncle at the moment as they were already in a bad mood with him, all because he'd received a telephone call from a fellow wizard one week into the school holidays. Ron Weasley,**

'As is Arthur and Molly?'

**who was one of Harry's best friends at Hogwarts, came from a whole family of Wizards. This meant he knew a lot of things Harry didn't, but had never used a telephone before. Most unluckily, it had been Uncle Vernon who had answered the call. "Vernon Dursley speaking."  
Harry who happened to be in the room at the time, froze as he heard Ron's voice answer.  
"HELLO? HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I - WANT - TO - TALK - TO - HARRY - POTTER!" Ron was yelling so loudly that Uncle Vernon jumped and held the receiver a foot away from his ear, staring at it with an expression of mingled fury and alarm. **

The four began laughing uncontrollably. Sirius and James had done the exact same thing just last week when they rang Peter to invite him over to the Potters. Mr Pettigrew had been petrified. (Not in the magical way)

**"WHO IS THIS?' he roared in the direction of the mouthpiece. 'WHO ARE YOU?"**

**"RON - WEASLEY!" Ron bellowed back, as though he and Uncle Vernon were speaking from opposite ends of a football pitch. 'I'M - A - FRIEND - OF - HARRY'S - FROM - SCHOOL-" **

**Uncle Vernon's small eyes swiveled around to Harry, who was rooted to the spot. "THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER HERE!" he roared, now holding the receiver at arm's length, as though frightened it might explode. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN! DON'T YOU COME NEAR MY FAMILY!" And he threw the receiver back onto the telephone as if dropping a poisonous spider. The row that had followed had been one of the worst ever. "HOW DARE YOU GIVE THIS NUMBER TO PEOPLE LIKE - PEOPLE LIKE YOU!" Uncle Vernon had roared, spraying Harry with spit. **

**Ron obviously realized that he'd gotten Harry into trouble, because he hadn't called again. Harry's other best friends from Hogwarts, Hermione Granger, hadn't been in touch either. Harry suspected that Ron had warned Hermione not to call, which was a pity, because Hermione, the cleverest witch in Harry's year, had Muggle parents, knew perfectly well how to use a telephone, and would probably have had enough sense not to say that she went to Hogwarts.**

**So Harry had no word from any of his wizarding friends for five long weeks, and this summer was turning out to be almost as bad as the last one. There was just one very small improvement- after swearing that he wouldn't use her to send any letters to his friends, Harry had been allowed to let his owl, Hedwig, out at night. Uncle Vernon had given up because of the racket Hedwig made if she was locked in her cage all the time. Harry finished writing about Wendelin the Weird and paused to listen again. The silence in the dark house was broken only by the distant, grunting snores of his enormous cousin, Dudley. **

'Hey Pete, this characters based on you!' Sirius joked. Remus read on as he saw a hurt look appear on his friends face.

**It must be very late, Harry thought. His eyes were itching with tiredness. Perhaps he'd finish this essay tomorrow night... **

**He replaced the top of the ink bottle, pulled an old pillow case from under his bed, put the flashlight, _A History of Magic_, his essay, quill and ink inside it, got out of bed and his the lot under a loose floorboard under his bed. Then he stood up, stretched, and checked the time on the luminous alarm clock ion his bedside table. It was one o'clock in the morning. Harry's stomach gave a funny jolt. He had been thirteen years old, without realizing it, for a whole hour. Yet another thing about Harry was how little ho looked forward to his birthdays. He had never received a birthday card in his life. **

'Wonder why?'

**The Dursleys had completely ignored his last two birthdays, and he had no reason to suppose they would remember this one.**

**Harry walked across the dark room, past Hedwig's large, empty cage to the open window. He leaned on the sill, the cool night air pleasant on his face after a long time under the blankets. Hedwig had been absent for two nights now. Harry wasn't worried about her; she'd been gone this long before. But he hoped she'd be back soon - she was the only living creature in this house who didn't flinch at the sight of him.**

**Harry, though still rather small and skinny for his age, had grown a few inches over the last year. His jet-black hair, however, was just as it had always been: stubbornly untidy, whatever he did to it.**

'Ha! Definitely a Potter of the James variety' Sirius barked.

'Hey, is someone taking the mick out of my hair?', James said defensively, whilst, without realising it, he was messing it up. The other three laughed at him, earning Wormtail a thump.

**The eyes behind his glasses were bright green, and on his forehead, clearly visible through his hair, was a thin scar shaped like a bolt of lightning. Of all the unusual things about Harry, this scar was the most extraordinary of all. It was not as the Dursleys pretended for ten years, a souvenir of the car crash that had killed Harry's parents, because Lily and James Potter had not died in a car crash. They had been murdered, murdered by the most feared Dark wizard for a hundred years, Lord Voldemort. **

'Eh? Do they mean you James?' Peter broke the silence.

'Well I don't think that's funny at all, what was this person thinking?' Sirius began defensively over his brother figure.

'Wait a second; they said that Evans marries me!', James seemed to completely overlook the fact he had died.

'As if Jimmy-boy, she won't even smile at you mate' , James looked as if he could thump Sirius for the use of his nickname, which would usually earn the person who said it a good hexing, but then again, it was Sirius. Where each other were concerned the pair could pretty much do or say what they felt like without the other taking offence.

'Besides, don't you see a pattern? You marry Lily, Snape is a teacher and you're on Voldemorts hit list' Peter thought once more about his idea.

'Yeah maybe Peter's right for once' Remus tried to make his friend feel better. Remus knew that if it had been Peter using James detested nickname he would have now been in extreme pain and noticed how hard the smaller boy tried to fit in with James and Sirius. Remus however seemed to have accepted that the two were close and was happy just being himself. After all they were all great friends to him regardless. They had spent three years studying to become animagus so they could be there for him when he needed them.

'Wait, if Harry's supposed to be my son, I wanna see them take care of him. He needs birthday presents'

**Harry had escaped from the same attack with nothing more then a scar on his forehead, when Voldemort's curse, instead of killing him, had rebounded upon the originator. **

'Exactly, no one can fight the killing curse' this seemed to be the proof that Peter needed to reassure him that his idea was possible.

'If anyone could do it, it would be my son' James began to get defensive.

**Barely alive, Voldemort had fled…but Harry had come face to face with him since at Hogwarts. Remembering their last meeting as he stood at the dark window, Harry had to admit he was lucky to have reached his thirteenth birthday.**

**He scanned the starry sky for a sign of Hedwig, perhaps soaring back to him with a dead mouse dangling from her beak, expecting praise. Gazing absently over the rooftops, it was a few seconds before Harry realized what he was seeing. Silhouetted against the golden moon, and growing larger every moment, was a strange lopsided creature, and it was flapping in Harry's direction. He stood quite still, watching it sink lower and lower. For a split second, he hesitated, his hand on the window-latch, wondering whether to slam it shut, but then the bizarre creature soared over one of the streetlamps of Privet Drive, and Harry, realizing what it was, leapt aside.**

**Through the window soared three owls, two of them holding up the third, who appeared to be unconscious. They landed with a soft flump on Harry's bed, and the middle owl, which was large and grey, keeled right over and lay motionless. There was a large package tied to its leg. Harry recognized the unconscious owl at once - his name was Errol, and he belonged to the Weasley family.**

'In a book based 20 years later, they still have that old owl' Peter scoffed.

'Hey leave the Weasleys alone, Arthur is mint!' Sirius shouted. During the holidays, Sirius often visited the neighbouring wizarding family to escape his own, even though Molly seemed unsure about the effects the renowned Hogwarts prankster would have on her young boys.

'Well, we know they definitely mean Arthur and Molly' Remus stated.

'And little Bill, he's pretty cool' Sirius continued.

'Yes yes Sirius, we know you love the Weasleys' James attempted to silence his friend so the book could be continued. Needless to say it didn't work.

'Oh, and baby Charlie'

**Harry dashed to the bed at once, untied the cords around Errol's legs, took off the parcel and then carried Errol to Hedwig's cage. Errol opened one bleary eye, gave a feeble hoot of thanks, and began to gulp some water. Harry turned back to the remaining owls. One of them, the large snowy female, was his own Hedwig. She, too, was carrying a parcel, and looked extremely proud of herself. She gave Harry an affectionate nip with her beak as he removed her burden, then flew across the room to join Errol. Harry didn't recognize the third owl, a handsome tawny one, but he knew at once where it had come from, because in addition to a third parcel, it was carrying a letter bearing the Hogwarts crest. When Harry relieved this owl it ruffled it's feathers importantly, stretched it's wings and tool of through the window into the night.**

**Harry sat down on his bed, grabbed Errol's package, ripped off the brown paper and discovered a present wrapped in gold, and his first ever birthday card. Fingers trembling slightly, he opened the envelope. Two pieces of paper fell out - a letter and a newspaper cutting. The cutting had clearly come out of the wizarding newspaper, the Daily Prophet, because the people in the black and white picture were moving. Harry picked up the cutting, smoothed it out and read: **

_**MINISTRY OF MAGIC EMPLOYEE SCOOPS GRAND PRIZE**_

_**Arthur Weasley,**_

'Yes' all four marauders chorused.

_**Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office at the Ministry of magic, has won the annual Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw. **_

'He still has that job! Whoever wrote this didn't think in 15 years he'd of been promoted!'

_**A delighted Mr. Weasley told the Daily Prophet 'We will be spending the gold on a summer holiday in Egypt, where our eldest son, Bill, works as a curse breaker for Gringotts Wizarding Bank.'**_

'Little Bill is all grown up and breaking curses' Sirius pretended to cry.

**_The Weasley family will be spending a month in Egypt, returning for the start of a new year at Hogwarts, which five of the Weasley children currently attend._ **

'Bloody hell they keep busy, five children'

'Well, you know what they say about Weasleys and their children'

**Harry scanned the moving photograph, and a grin spread across his face as he saw all nine of the Weasleys waving furiously at him, standing in front of a large pyramid. Plump little Mrs Weasley, tall, balding, Mr Weasley, six sons and one daughter, all (though the black and white picture didn't show it) with flaming red hair. **

'We wouldn't expect anything else' Sirius smiled

'Imagine a Weasley without the hair!' James laughed

**Right in the middle of the picture was Ron, tall and gangling, with his pet rat Scabbers**

'They always give the rat an insulting name' moped Peter.

**on his shoulder and his arm around his little sister Ginny. Harry couldn't think of anyone who deserved to win a large pile of gold then the Weasleys, who were very nice and extremely poor. He picked up Ron's letter and unfolded it. **

_**Dear Harry, **_

**_Happy Birthday! Look, I'm really sorry about that telephone call. I hope the Muggles didn't give you a hard time. I asked Dad, and he reckons I shouldn't have shouted. It's brilliant here in Egypt. Bill's taken us round all the tombs and you wouldn't believe the curses those old Egyptian wizards put on them. Mum wouldn't let Ginny come in the last one. There were all these mutant skeletons in there, of Muggles who's broken in and grown extra heads and stuff. I couldn't believe it when Dad won the daily prophet draw. Seven hundred Galleons! Most of it's gone to this holiday, but they're going to buy me a new wand for next year._ **

**Harry remembered only too well the occasion when Ron's old wand had snapped. It had happened when the car the two of them had been flying crashed into a tree in the Hogwarts grounds.**

'Cool, we need to try that' James got exited. 'My son flew a car' he said proudly. 'the author of this knew any son of mine would be cool'

Sirius and Remus just looked at each other and burst out laughing. Peter, after checking it was okay, and he wouldn't get hurt, joined in.

_**We'll be back about a week before the term starts and we'll be going up to London to get my wand and out books. Any chance of meeting you there? Don't let the Muggles get you down! Try and come to London, **_

_**Ron **_

_**P.S. Percy's Head Boy. He got the letter last week. **_

**Harry glanced back at the photograph. Percy, who was in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts, was looking particularly smug. He had pinned his Head Boy badge to the fez perched jauntily on top of his neat hair, his horn-rimmed glasses flashing in the Egyptian sun. Harry now turned to his present and unwrapped it. Inside was what looked like a miniature glass spinning top. There was another note from Ron beneath it.**

_**Harry - this is a Pocket Sneakoscope.**_

'Hey I've got one of those' Remus stopped reading, 'they're so bloody annoying, always whistling'

_**If there's someone untrustworthy around, it's supposed to light up and spin.**_

'Probably because Padfoot's always around' joked James.

Sirius just grinned slyly, before laughing saying, 'hey I'm trustworthy, and you trust me James?' he looked toward his friend for confirmation.

'Sure Siri, I'd trust you with my life, now can we get on with the story?'

Remus laughed to himself. They were best friends but of course had trouble with all the mushy stuff. He read on.

_**Bill says it's rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn't reliable, because it kept lighting up at dinner last night. But he didn't realize Fred and George had put beetles in his soup. **_

Sirius had a gleam in his eye, 'I like these Fred and George people, sound kind of like you and me Prongsy'

'Yeah only if we were going to put beetles in Snivilous' soup they'd have to be pretty big so he'd choke'. James said harshly.

Three boys in the room laughed whilst the other one simply looked troubled. Remus wished James and Sirius would be nicer to the slytherin.

_**Bye -  
Ron**_

**Harry put the Pocket Sneakoscope on his bedside table, where it stood quite still, balanced on its point, reflecting the luminous hands of his clock. He look at it happily for a few seconds, then picked up the parcel Hedwig had brought. Inside this too, there was a wrapped present, a card, and a letter, this time from Hermione.**

_**Dear Harry,**_

**_Ron wrote to me and told me about his phone call to your Uncle Vernon. I do hope you're all right. I'm on holiday in France at the moment and I didn't know how I was going to send this to you - what if they'd opened it at customs? - but then Hedwig turned up! I think she wanted to make sure you got something for your birthday for a change. I bought your present by owl-order; there was an advertisement in the _Daily Prophet_ (I've been getting it delivered; it's so good to keep up with what's going on in the wizarding world). Did you see that picture of Ron and his family a week ago? I bet he's learning loads. I'm really jealous - the ancient Egyptian wizards were fascinating. There's some interesting local history of witchcraft here, too. I've rewritten my whole History of Magic essay to include some of the things I've found out._** **_I hope it's not too long - it's two rolls of parchment more than Professor Binns asked for. _**

Sirius made a strange coughing sound that sounded like'lily' and James glared at him.

'_**Ron says he's going to be in London in the last week of the holidays. Can you make it? Will your aunt and uncle let you come? I really hope you can. If not, I'll see you on the Hogwarts Express on September first!**_

_**Love from Hermione**_

_**P.S. Ron says Percy's Head Boy. I'll bet Percy's really pleased Ron doesn't seem too happy about it.**_

**Harry laughed as he put Hermione's letter aside and picked up her present. It was very heavy. Knowing Hermione, he was sure it would be a large book full of very difficult spells, but it wasn't. His heart gave a huge bound as he ripped back the paper and saw a sleek black leather case, with silver words stamped across it, reading _'Broomstick Servicing Kit'._**

'Got one' James sat back smugly. He was after all probably the best quidditch player at the school at the time, and possibly one of the best ever flyers the boys had seen. He was even thinking about going professional for a while after school. That was if the war was over and the quidditch league properly restarted.

**"Wow, Hermione!" Harry whispered, unzipping the case to look inside. There was a large jar of Fleetwood's High-Finish Handle Polish, a pair of gleaming silver Tall-Twig Clippers, a tiny brass compass to clip on your broom for long journeys, and a '_Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare_'. **

**Apart from his friends, the thing that Harry missed most about Hogwarts was Quidditch, the most popular sport in the magical world - highly dangerous, very exciting, and played on broomsticks. Harry happened to be a very good Quidditch player; he had been the youngest person in a century to be picked for one of the Hogwarts House teams.**

James looked stunned (not in the magical way). This person was better at quidditch than he was, then he realised Harry was supposed to be his son and most of his jealousy left him.

'Wow, whoever wrote this thinks a lot of your quidditch talents prongs, if they think your son would be that good' Sirius laughed.

**Harry put the leather case aside and picked up his last parcel. He recognized the untidy scrawl on the brown paper at once: this was from Hagrid, the Hogwarts **

'He's friends with that big oaf' Peter said maliciously. If truth be told the rat had always been scared of the large man'

'I always thought he was cool' Sirius looked toward James who smiled in agreement. The two troublemakers got on quite well with the keeper of keys. Remus too had always found him amiable.

**gamekeeper. He tore off the top layer of paper and glimpsed something green and leathery, but before he could unwrap it properly, the parcel gave a strange quiver, and whatever was inside it snapped loudly - as though it had jaws. Harry froze. He knew that Hagrid would never send him anything dangerous on purpose, but then, Hagrid didn't have a normal person's view of what was dangerous. Hagrid had been known to befriend giant spiders, buy vicious, three-headed dogs from men in pubs, and sneak illegal dragon eggs into his cabin. **

'Cool' James exclaimed 'I hope Harry got to see them'

'Erm James?' Peter reminded his friends, 'Harry's not real'. Peter felt his two friends were getting too into the fiction and even the level-headed Remus seemed to be thinking deeply.

**Harry poked the parcel nervously. It snapped loudly again. Harry reached for the lamp on his bedside table, gripped it firmly in one hand, and raised it over his head, ready to strike. Then he seized the rest of the wrapping paper in his other hand and pulled. And out fell - a book. Harry just had time to register its handsome green cover, emblazoned with the golden title _The Monster Book of Monsters_, before it flipped onto its edge and scuttled sideways along the bed like some weird crab.**

**"Uh-oh," Harry muttered.**

**The book toppled off the bed with a loud clunk and shuffled rapidly across the room. Harry followed it stealthily. The book was hiding in the dark space under his desk. Praying that the Dursleys were still fast asleep, Harry got down on his hands and knees and reached toward it.**

**"Ouch!"  
The book snapped shut on his hand and then flapped past him, still scuttling on its covers. Harry scrambled around, threw himself forward, and managed to flatten it. Uncle Vernon gave a loud, sleepy grunt in the room next door.**

**Hedwig and Errol watched interestedly as Harry clamped the struggling book tightly in his arms, hurried to his chest of drawers, and pulled out a belt, which he buckled tightly around it. The Monster Book shuddered angrily, but could no longer flap and snap, so Harry threw it down on the bed and reached for Hagrid's card.**

_**Dear Harry,**_

_**Happy Birthday! Think you might find this useful for next year. Won't say no more here. Tell you when I see you. Hope the Muggles are treating you right.**_

_**All the best,  
Hagrid**_

**It struck Harry as ominous that Hagrid thought a biting book would come in useful, **

'We could give one to Snivilous as a joke' Sirius laughed.

**but he put Hagrid's card up next to Ron's and Hermione's, grinning more broadly than ever. Now there was only the letter from Hogwarts left. Noticing that it was rather thicker than usual, Harry slit open the envelope, pulled out the first page of parchment within, and read:**

_**Dear Mr. Potter,**_

_**Please note that the new school year will begin on September the first. The Hogwarts Express will leave from King's Cross station, platform nine and three-quarters, at eleven o'clock. Third years are permitted to visit the village of Hogsmeade on certain weekends. Please give the enclosed permission form to your parent or guardian to sign. A list of books for next year is enclosed. Yours sincerely**_

_**Professor M. McGonagall  
Deputy Headmistress**_

'God, my poor son, she's still there'

'Between her and Snape, Harry's going to get pay back for everything you did to the two of them James' Remus joked.

'I'll have to teach him the marauder charm to get out of detention with dear Minerva' Sirius joked. The other three laughed. No matter how hard Sirius tried to charm and flatter the transfiguration teacher, flashing her smiles that would make the fourth year girls melt, he only ever got himself in more trouble. Now it had become something Sirius did purely to annoy the deputy head even more.

**Harry pulled out the Hogsmeade permission form and looked at it, no longer grinning. It would be wonderful to visit Hogsmeade on weekends; he knew it was an entirely wizarding village, and he had never set foot there. But how on earth was he going to persuade Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia to sign the form?**

'He'll find some way' James declared, 'he's the son of a marauder.'

**He looked over at the alarm clock. It was now two o'clock in the morning. Deciding that he'd worry about the Hogsmeade form when he woke up, Harry got back into bed and reached up to cross off another day on the chart he'd made for himself, counting down the days left until his return to Hogwarts. Then he took off his glasses and lay down, eyes open, facing his three birthday cards. Extremely unusual though he was, at that moment Harry Potter felt just like everyone else - glad, for the first time in his life, that it was his birthday.**

Remus finally stopped reading, and went to put the book away before being confronted by Sirius, 'what you doing, read on!'

'It's the end of the chapter Pad' he replied.

Sirius just glared back.

'Okay well I suppose I'll start the next one if everyone wants me too then. God, I didn't think I'd see the day when Sirius would want to read.'

Sirius made to say something, realised it was pointless and urged his friend to begin again. It was just getting interesting.

Aunt Marge's Big Mistake….

Sirius was overcome by a fit of giggles at the ridiculousness of the name Marge.

**Harry went down to breakfast the next morning to find the three Dursleys already sitting around the kitchen table. They were watching the brand-new television, a welcome-home-for-the-summer present for Dudley, who had been complaining loudly about the long walk between the fridge and the television in the living room.**

**Dudley had spent most of the summer in the kitchen, his piggy little eyes fixed on the screen and his five chins wobbling as he ate continually.**

This comment only made him laugh the harder, James joining in. the two were making each other worse. Remus stopped to watch them, tears pouring down his cheeks at the behaviour of his friends. They were so amusing to watch. Peter however, just sat there sort of faking a laugh as if he wasn't sure what he should do.

**He helped himself to a piece of toast and then looked up at the reporter on the television, who was halfway through a report on an escaped convict:**

**"_…The public is warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous. _**

'Hey is it any relation to you Padfoot,' James was the only one who Sirius allowed to laugh at him, apart from Remus occasionally. 'Bet he's your son, a muggle criminal, ha! My son the saviour and yours the bank robber or something!'

**_A special hot line has been set up, and any sighting of Black should be reported immediately._"**

**"No need to tell us _he's_ no good," snorted Uncle Vernon, staring over the top of his newspaper at the prisoner. "Look at the state of him, the filthy layabout! Look at his hair!" He shot a nasty look sideways at Harry, whose untidy hair had always been a great annoyance to Uncle Vernon.**

'Hey it's not his fault'

'Erm James, you're getting far too overprotective of your made up son, he's not real'

'Yeah I know, but if you make fun of his hair you make fun of mine'

'Fair point' Remus admitted.

**Compared to the man on television, however, whose gaunt face was surrounded by a matted, elbow-length tangle, Harry felt very well groomed indeed.**

'Sirius smiled, 'definitely not my relative then, my grooming leaves little to be desired' the others laughed but knew it was true. Sirius had an elegance that girls loved, especially his fan club of Hufflepuff third years. Sirius though about it and then continued, 'unless it's Regulus!'

The four boys laughed. Sirius' younger brother was a Slytherin and an idiot.

**The reporter had reappeared. "The Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries will announce today -"**

**"Hang on!" barked Uncle Vernon, staring furiously at the reporter. "You didn't tell us where that maniac's escaped from! What use is that? Lunatic could be coming up the street right now!"**

**Aunt Petunia, who was bony and horse-faced, whipped around and peered intently out the kitchen window. Harry knew that Aunt Petunia would simply love to be the one to call the hot line number. She was the nosiest woman in the world and spent most of her life spying on the boring, law-abiding neighbors.**

'Sly like a Slytherin' James sneered.

**"When will they _learn_," said Uncle Vernon, pounding on the table with his large, purple fist, "that hanging's the only way to deal with these people?"**

**"Very true," said Aunt Petunia, who was still squinting into next door's runner beans.**

**Uncle Vernon drained his teacup, glanced at his watch, and added, "I'd better be off in a minute, Petunia. Marge's train gets in at ten."**

**Harry, whose thoughts had been upstairs with the Broomstick Servicing Kit, was brought back to earth with an unpleasant bump. "Aunt Marge?" he blurted out. "Sh - _she's_ not coming here, is she?"**

'Mm, maybe this woman is a prank prospect for us marauders' James and Sirius cheered, Remus groaned but smiled. He knew most of James and Sirius' pranks were harmless; it was only when they were in a really bad mood, or it was with Snape that they got really mean.

**Aunt Marge was Uncle Vernon's sister. Even though she was not a blood relative of Harry's, he had been forced to call her "Aunt" all his life. Aunt Marge lived in the country, in a house with a large garden, where she bred bulldogs. She didn't often stay at Privet Drive, because she couldn't bear to leave her precious dogs, but each of her visits stood out horribly vividly in Harry's mind. At Dudley's fifth birthday party, Aunt Marge had whacked Harry around the shins with her walking stick to stop him from beating Dudley at musical statues. **

'Evil cow' James shouted.

**A few years later, she had turned up at Christmas with a computerized robot for Dudley and a box of dog biscuits for Harry. **

'Bitch' he continued.

**On her last visit, the year before Harry started at Hogwarts, Harry had accidentally trodden on the tail of her favorite dog. Ripper had chased Harry out into the garden and up a tree, and Aunt Marge had refused to call him off until past midnight. The memory of this incident still brought tears of laughter to Dudley's eyes…**

'God, I hate them all, get your bloody dog off my son'

**"Marge'll be here for a week," Uncle Vernon snarled, "and while we're on the subject" - he pointed a fat finger threateningly at Harry - "we need to get a few things straight before I go and collect her." Dudley smirked and withdrew his gaze from the television. Watching Harry being bullied by Uncle Vernon was Dudley's favorite form of entertainment.**

**"Firstly," growled Uncle Vernon, "you'll keep a civil tongue in your head when you're talking to Marge."**

**"All right," said Harry bitterly, "if she does when she's talking to me."**

'You tell the git Harry!'

**"Secondly," said Uncle Vernon, acting as though he had not heard Harry's reply, "as Marge doesn't know anything about your _abnormality_, I don't want any - any _funny_ stuff while she's here. You behave yourself, got me?"**

**"I will if she does," said Harry through gritted teeth.**

'Hey Prongs, he's definitely got you way with words' Remus pointed out.

'Yeah the potter way of getting on with people' Sirius barked

**"And thirdly," said Uncle Vernon, his mean little eyes now slits in his great purple face, "we've told Marge you attend St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys."**

'What? My boys not a criminal!'

**"_What_?" Harry yelled.**

**And you'll be sticking to that story, boy, or there'll be trouble," spat Uncle Vernon."**

**Harry sat there, white-faced and furious, staring at Uncle Vernon, hardly able to believe it. Aunt Marge was coming for a week-long visit - it was the worst birthday present the Dursleys had ever given him.**

**"Well, Petunia," said Uncle Vernon, getting heavily to his feet, "I'll be off to the station, then. Want to come along for the ride, Dudders?"**

Sirius began to once more laugh uncontrollably at the ridiculous name.

**"No," said Dudley, whose attention had returned to the television now that Uncle Vernon had finished threatening Harry.**

**"Duddy's**

He howled with laughter. 'Poor kid'

'Sirius, he gets what he deserves' Remus said, particularly mean for the usually friendly character. The truth was, all the boys felt like Harry was a real person, and were beginning to get really overprotective of their best friend's son and the way he was treated. They felt almost like they were reading the future.

**got to make himself smart for his auntie," said Aunt Petunia, smoothing Dudley's thick blond hair. "Mummy's bought him a lovely new bow tie."**

**Uncle Vernon clapped Dudley on his porky shoulder. "See you in a bit, then," he said, and he left the kitchen**

**Harry, who had been sitting in a kind of horrified trance, had a sudden idea. **

'Ooh, that's dangerous for a junior prongs' Sirius became excited. He loved a good plan.

**Abandoning his toast, he got quickly to his feet and followed Uncle Vernon to the front door. Uncle Vernon was pulling on his car coat. "I'm not taking _you_," he snarled as he turned to see Harry watching him.**

**"Like I wanted to come," said Harry coldly. **

'Oooo, bitchy Harry!' Sirius laughed.

**"I want to ask you something." Uncle Vernon eyed him suspiciously. "Third years at Hog-at my school are allowed to visit the village sometimes," said Harry.**

**"So?" snapped Uncle Vernon, taking his car keys from a hook next to the door.**

**"I need you to sign the permission form," said Harry in a rush.**

**"And why should I do that?" sneered Uncle Vernon.**

**"Well," said Harry, choosing his words carefully, "it'll be hard work, pretending to Aunt Marge I go to that St. Whatits -"**

**"St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys!" bellowed Uncle Vernon, and Harry was pleased to hear a definite note of panic in Uncle Vernon's voice.**

**"Exactly," said Harry, looking calmly up into Uncle Vernon's large, purple face. "It's a lot to remember. I'll have to make it sound convincing, won't I? What if I accidentally let something slip?"**

'Great! Bribery, I love it!' James smiled with pride.

'Hey for a lad that never met you he definitely thinks like you Jimmy!' Remus smiled. It definitely had an element of truth. Remus didn't doubt that if James had a son he would be just like Harry, only probably more big headed as he would grow up with James himself. Remus could also vividly picture Harry quite easy, which was strange as they'd been told very little about him.

**"_You'll get the stuffing knocked out of you, won't you_?" roared Uncle Vernon, advancing on Harry with his fist raised. But Harry stood his ground.**

**"Knocking the stuffing out of me won't make Aunt Marge forget what I could tell her," he said grimly. Uncle Vernon stopped, his fist still raised, his face an ugly puce. "But if you sign my permission form," Harry went on quickly, "I swear I'll remember where I'm supposed to go to school, and I'll act like a Mug-like I'm normal and everything."**

**Harry could tell that Uncle Vernon was thinking it over, even if his teeth were bared and a vein was throbbing in his temple. "Right," he snapped finally. "I shall monitor your behavior carefully during Marge's visit. If, at the end of it, you've toed the line and kept to the story, I'll sign your ruddy form." He wheeled around, pulled open the front door, and slammed it so hard that one of the little panes of glass at the top fell out.**

**Harry didn't return to the kitchen. He went back upstairs to his bedroom. If he was going to act like a real Muggle, he'd better start now. Slowly and sadly he gathered up all his presents and his birthday cards and hid them under the loose floorboard with his homework. Then he went to Hedwig's cage. Errol seemed to have recovered; he and Hedwig were both asleep, heads under their wings. Harry sighed, then poked them both awake. "Hedwig," he said gloomily, "you're going to have to clear off for a week. Go with Errol. Ron'll look after you. I'll write him a note, explaining. And don't look at me like that" - Hedwing's large amber eyes were reproachful - "it's not my fault. It's the only way I'll be allowed to visit Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione."**

**Ten minutes later, Errol and Hedwig (who had a note to Ron bound to her leg) soared out of the window and out of sight. Harry, now feeling thoroughly miserable, put the empty cage away inside the wardrobe.**

**But Harry didn't have long to brood. In next to no time, Aunt Petunia was shrieking up the stairs for Harry to come down and get ready to welcome their guest. "Do something with about your hair!" Aunt Petunia snapped as he reached the hall. Harry couldn't see the point of trying to make his hair like flat. **

'He can't, live with it' Sirius shouted as if Petunia could hear him speak.

**Aunt Marge loved criticizing him, so the untidier he looked, the happier she would be.**

That was definitely a potter way of thinking, Remus couldn't help wondering

**All too soon, there was a crunch of gravel outside as Uncle Vernon's car pulled back into the driveway, then the clunk of the car doors and footsteps on the garden path.**

**"Get the door!" Aunt Petunia hissed at Harry.**

**A feeling of great gloom in his stomach, Harry pulled the door open. On the threshold stood Aunt Marge. She was very like Uncle Vernon: large, beefy, and purple-faced, she even had a moustache, though not as bushy as his.**

**In one hand she held an enormous suitcase, and tucked under the other was an old and evil-tempered bulldog.**

**"Where's my Dudders?" roared Aunt Marge. "Where's my neffy-poo?"**

Once more Sirius rolled with laughter, this time James joined in, it was good to see Harry's tormentor get ridiculed.

**Dudley came waddling down the hall, his blond hair plastered flat to his fat head, a bow tie just visible under his many chins. Aunt Marge thrust the suitcase into Harry's stomach, knocking the wind out of him, seized Dudley in a tight one-armed hug, and planted a large kiss on his cheek. Harry knew perfectly well that Dudley only put up with Aunt Marge's hugs because he was well paid for it, and sure enough, when they broke apart, Dudley had a crisp twenty-pound note clutched in his fat fist.**

**"Petunia!" **

'Petunia!' Remus exclaimed, 'Lily and Petunia! You've got to admit they've got weird names'

**shouted Aunt Marge, striding past Harry as though he was a hat stand. Aunt Marge and Aunt Petunia kissed, or rather, Aunt Marge bumped her large jaw against Aunt Petunia's bony cheekbone.**

**Uncle Vernon now came in, smiling jovially as he shut the door. "Tea, Marge?" he said. "And what will Ripper take?"**

**"Ripper can have some tea out of my saucer," said Aunt Marge as they all proceeded into the kitchen, leaving Harry alone in the hall with the suitcase. But Harry wasn't complaining; any excuse not to be with Aunt Marge was fine by him, so he began to heave the case upstairs into the spare bedroom, taking as long as he could. **

'Good plan Hazza' Sirius yelped.

Remus, James and Peter just gave him a weird look. 'Hazza?' Remus questioned.

'You are not calling my son Hazza' James drew the line.

**By the time he got back to the kitchen, Aunt Marge had been supplied with tea and fruitcake, and Ripper was lapping noisily in the corner. Harry saw Aunt Petunia wince slightly as specks of tea and drool flecked her clean floor. Aunt Marge hated animals.**

**"Who's looking after the other dogs, Marge?" Uncle Vernon asked.**

**"Oh, I've got Colonel Fubster managing them," boomed Aunt Marge. "He's retired now, good for him to have something to do. But I couldn't leave poor old Ripper. He pines if he's away from me." Ripper began to growl again as Harry sat down. This directed Aunt Marge's attention to Harry for the first time. "So!" she barked. "Still here, are you?" **

**"Yes," said Harry.**

**"Don't you say 'yes' in that ungrateful tone," Aunt Marge growled. "It's damn good of Vernon and Petunia to keep you. Wouldn't have done it myself. You'd have gone straight to an orphanage if you'd been dumped on _my_ doorstep."**

'Bet he'd prefer to be in one' Peter mumbled.

**Harry was burning to say that he'd rather live in an orphanage than with the Dursleys, **

'See'

**but the thought of the Hogsmeade form stopped him. He forced his face into a painful smile.**

**"Don't you smirk at me!" boomed Aunt Marge. "I can see you haven't improved since I last saw you. I hoped school would knock some manners into you." She took a large gulp of tea, wiped her mustache, and said, "Where is it that you send him, again, Vernon?"**

**"St. Brutus's," said Uncle Vernon promptly. "It's a first-rate institution for hopeless cases."**

**"I see," said Aunt Marge. "Do they use the can at St. Brutus's, boy?" she barked across the table.**

**"Er -" Uncle Vernon nodded curtly behind Aunt Marge's back. "Yes," said Harry. Then, feeling he might as well do the thing properly, he added, "all the time."**

**"Excellent," said Aunt Marge. "I won't have this namby-pamby wishy-washy nonsense about not hitting people that deserve it. A good thrashing is what's needed in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred."**

**"Have you been beaten often?"**

**"Oh, yeah," said Harry, "loads of times."**

'Great, he has no fear of punishment, like a true marauder!' Sirius held his hand high in triumph before falling back onto his bed.

**Aunt Marge narrowed her eyes. "I still don't like your tone, boy," she said. "If you can speak of your beatings in that casual way, they clearly aren't hitting you hard enough. Petunia, I'd write if I were you. Make it clear that you approve the use of extreme force in this boy's case."**

**Perhaps Uncle Vernon was worried that Harry might forget their bargain; in any case, he changed the subject abruptly. "Heard the news this morning, Marge? What about that escaped prisoner, eh?"**

**As Aunt Marge started to make herself at home, Harry caught himself thinking almost longingly of life at number four without her. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia usually encouraged Harry to stay out of their way, which Harry was only too happy to do.** **Aunt Marge, on the other hand, wanted Harry under her eye at all times, so that she could boom out suggestions for his improvement. She delighted in comparing Harry with Dudley, and took huge pleasure in buying Dudley expensive presents while glaring at Harry, as though daring him to ask why he hadn't got a present too. She also kept throwing out hints about what made Harry such an unsatisfactory person.**

'I'm sure he's a great person' James defended Harry, 'he has after all got my genes' although many would have said this in jest, James Potter, at this stage in his life, actually believed this about himself.

**"You mustn't blame yourself for the way the boy's turned out, Vernon," she said over lunch on the third day. "If there's something rotten on the _inside_, there's nothing anyone can do about it."**

'Yeah and that's why your son's a brat no matter how anyone tries to 'squash it' out of him' Sirius shouted at the imaginary Petunia.

**Harry tried to concentrate on his food, but his hands shook and his face was starting to burn with anger. _Remember the form,_ he told himself. _Think about Hogsmeade. Don't say anything. Don't rise –_**

'Do rise, do rise' Sirius began chanting.

**Aunt Marge reached for her glass of wine. "It's one of the basic rules of breeding," she said. "You see it all the time with dogs. If there's something wrong with the bitch, there'll be something wrong with the pup -"**

This angered James, 'there is nothing wrong with Lily!'

Meanwhile Sirius was still chanting.

'Just that in this story she agreed to marry you!' Remus whispered all too loudly to Sirius, earning him a playful punch in the arm.

All four boys laughed.

**At that moment, the wineglass Aunt Marge was holding exploded in her hand. Shards of glass flew in every direction and Aunt Marge sputtered and blinked, her great ruddy face dripping.**

'Cool, go Hazza Pot'

James looked like he was going to say something to his friend but then smiled and shook his head.

**"Marge!" squealed Aunt Petunia. "Marge, are you all right?"**

**"Not to worry," grunted Aunt Marge, mopping her face with her napkin. "Must have squeezed it too hard. Did the same thing at Colonel Fubster's the other day. No need to fuss, Petunia, I have a very firm grip…"**

**But Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were both looking at Harry suspiciously, so he decided he'd better skip dessert and escape from the table as soon as he could. Outside in the hall, he leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. It had been a long time since he'd lost control and made something explode. He couldn't afford to let it happen again. The Hogsmeade form wasn't the only thing at stake - if he carried on like that, he'd be in trouble with the Ministry of Magic. Harry was still an underage wizard, and he was forbidden by wizard law to do magic outside school. His record wasn't exactly clean either. Only last summer he'd gotten an official warning that had stated quite clearly that if the Ministry got wind of any more magic in Privet Drive, Harry would face expulsion from Hogwarts.**

'See a marauder never follows the rules' James proclaimed.

'Even we haven't got in trouble with the ministry. Dumbledore one thing, but the minister?' Remus reminded them.

"**He heard the Dursleys leaving the table and hurried upstairs out of the way.**

**Harry got through the next three days by forcing himself to think about his _Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare_ whenever Aunt Marge started on him. This worked quite well, though it seemed to give him a glazed look, because Aunt Marge started voicing the opinion that he was mentally subnormal.**

'Probably is' whispered Sirius to Remus, getting the two another punch from their messy haired friend.

**At long last, the final evening of Marge's stay arrived. Aunt Petunia cooked a fancy dinner and Uncle Vernon uncorked several bottles of wine. They got all the way through the soup and the salmon without a single mention of Harry's faults. During the lemon meringue pie, Uncle Vernon bored them all with a long talk about Grunnings, his drill-making company; then Aunt Petunia made coffee and Uncle Vernon brought out a bottle of brandy. **

**"Can I tempt you, Marge?"**

**Aunt Marge had already had quite a long of wine. Her huge red face was very red. "Just a small one, then," she chuckled. "A bit more than that…and a bit more…that's the ticket."**

**Dudley was eating his fourth slice of pie. **

James coughed something like 'Wormtail', whilst at the same time Sirius made a 'pig' noise. Then the two broke down in laughter. What made them laugh even harder was the fact that they simultaneously muttered something about 'Great minds' immediately afterwards, something that only confirmed the comment and brought a smile to the werewolf's face.

**Aunt Petunia was sipping coffee with her little finger sticking out. Harry really wanted to disappear into his bedroom, but he met Uncle Vernon's angry little eyes and knew he would have to sit it out.**

**"Aah," said Aunt Marge, smacking her lips and putting the empty brandy glass back down. "Excellent nosh, Petunia. It's normally just a fry up for me of an evening, with twelve dogs to look after…" She burped richly and patted her great tweed stomach. "Pardon me. But I do like to see a healthy-sized boy," she went on, winking at Dudley. "You'll be a proper-sized man, Dudders, like your father."**

**"Yes, I'll have a spot more brandy, Vernon. Now this one here -"**

**She jerked her head at Harry, who felt his stomach clench. _The Handbook,_ he thought quickly.**

**"This one's got a mean, runty look about him. **

'By the sounds of it he looks just like prongs' Sirius gave up on the whole whispering idea.

'Then he'll be drop dead gorgeous' glared James.

**You get that with dogs. I had Colonel Fubster drown one last year. Ratty little thing it was. Weak. Underbred."**

'Stop suggesting you kill my handsome son!' James yelled, scaring the shit out of Remus.

Remus simply turned around calmly, 'he's not your son James, and it's just a book. F-I-C-T-I-O-N'

**Harry was trying to remember page twelve of his book: _A Charm to Cure Reluctant Reversers._**

**"It all comes down to blood, as I was saying the other day. Bad blood will out. Now, I'm saying nothing against your family, Petunia" - she patted Aunt Petunia's bony hand with her shovel-like one "but your sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best families."**

'Lily is not a bad egg' James was all worked up now.

'Aww, is Prongsy getting overprotective of his Lillykinns?' Remus mocked him.

'She is so never going to be yours Jimbo!' Sirius laughed.

**"Then she ran off with a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us."**

'Wastrel? Wastrel? Is she referring to me?' James asked, still annoyed with Sirius' comment.

**Harry was staring at his plate, a funny ringing in his ears. _Grip your broom firmly by the tail,_ he thought, but he couldn't remember what came next. Aunt Marge's voice seemed to be boring into him like one of Uncle Vernon's drills.**

**"This Potter,"**

'Was amazing and fabulous and gorgeous and clever and brilliant and shaggable etc etc etc'

'Erm, don't think so Wastrel' Remus turned to James with a glint in his eye.

**said Aunt Marge loudly, seizing the brandy bottle and splashing more into her glass and over the tablecloth, "you never told me what he did?"**

**Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were looking extremely tense. Dudley had even looked up from his pie to gape at his parents. "He - didn't work," said Uncle Vernon, with half a glance at Harry. "Unemployed."**

'Bet you I wasn't, I'm going to be an auror, or maybe I'll play quidditch, but I bet your ass I'll have a better job than you ever could'

'Shut up Wastrel!' Sirius interrupted, James could think of nothing to reply so simply joined in the laughter of Sirius and Remus.

**"As I expected!" said Aunt Marge, taking a huge swig of brandy and wiping her chin on her sleeve. "A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger who -"**

'Hey'

'Come on Potter, you do sleep in the longest' Sirius began.

'Do not' James interrupted.

'Do too'

'Do not'

'Do too'

'You dissing my nana' James asked seriously with a roll of his shoulders.

This sent three of the boys in the room into fits of laughter. Peter sat there unamused, though he feinted a laugh. This was a private joke between the other three which much to his annoyance he had never and probably never would understand.

**"He was not!" **

'Thank you Harry' his father smiled.

**said Harry suddenly. The table went very quiet. Harry was shaking all over. He had never felt so angry in his life.**

**"MORE BRANDY!" yelled Uncle Vernon, who had gone very white. He emptied the bottle into Aunt Marge's glass. "You, boy," he snarled at Harry. "Go to bed, go on -"**

**"No, Vernon," hiccupped Aunt Marge, holding up a hand, her tiny bloodshot eyes fixed on Harry's. "Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you?"**

'He'd better be, I bloody well died for him!' James shouted whilst Sirius and Remus simultaneously turned round and shouted 'not real' so loudly that Peter almost wet himself.

**"They go and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, I expect) -"**

**"They didn't die in a car crash!" said Harry, who found himself on his feet.  
"They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a burden on their decent, **

'Ha!'

**hardworking**

'Ha!'

**relatives!" screamed Aunt Marge, swelling with fury. "You are an insolent, ungrateful little -"**

**Aunt Marge suddenly stopped speaking. For a moment, it looked as though words had failed her. She seemed to be swelling with inexpressible anger - but the swelling didn't stop. Her great red face started to expand, her tiny eyes bulged, and her mouth stretched too tightly for speech - next second, several buttons had just burst from her tweed jacket and pinged off the walls - she was inflating like a monstrous balloon, her stomach bursting free of her tweed waistband, each of her fingers blowing up like a salami –**

'That's great, we have to do that to Malfoy' Sirius laughed.

'That's some pretty impressive wandless magic there' Remus wondered aloud. Sirius and James just rolled their eyes at each other. Remus was always thinking seriously. He was thinking about the standard of magic while there were crying with laughter at the thought of the large woman floating on the ceiling.

**"MARGE!" yelled Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia together as Aunt Marge's whole body began to rise off her chair toward the ceiling. She was entirely round, now, like a vast life buoy with piggy eyes, and her hands and feet stuck out weirdly as she drifted up into the air, making apoplectic popping noises. Ripper came skidding into the room, barking madly. **

**"NOOOOOOO!"**

**Uncle Vernon seized one of Marge's feet and tried to pull her down again, but was almost lifted from the floor himself. A second later, Ripper leapt forward and sank his teeth into Uncle Vernon's leg.**

Sirius barked with laughter, his newly found animagus form coming out in him. 'Your son is da bomb!'

**Harry tore from the dining room before anyone could stop him, heading for the cupboard under the stairs. The cupboard door burst magically open as he reached it. In seconds, he had heaved his trunk to the front door. He sprinted upstairs and threw himself under the bed, wrenching up the loose floorboard, and grabbed the pillowcase full of his books and birthday presents. He wriggled out, seized Hedwig's empty cage, and dashed back downstairs to his trunk, just as Uncle Vernon burst out of the dining room, his trouser leg in bloody tatters. "COME BACK IN HERE!" he bellowed. "COME BACK AND PUT HER RIGHT!"**

**But a reckless rage had come over Harry. He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at Uncle Vernon. "She deserved it," Harry said, breathing very fast. "She deserved what she got."**

'Too right my son! You tell 'em' James punched the air in triumph.

'Remus just shook his head, 'I'm worried about you Prongs'

**He fumbled behind him for the latch on the door. "I'm going." Harry said. "I've had enough." And in the next moment, he was out in the dark, quiet street, heaving his heavy trunk behind him, Hedwig's cage under his arm.**

Chapter 3 The Knight Bus…

Remus began immediately to read the next chapter and when no objections came from the other three boys he just continued. They all wanted to know what would happen to James' son.

**Harry was several streets away before he collapsed onto a low wall in Magnolia Crescent, panting from the effort of dragging his trunk. He sat quite still, anger still surging through him, listening to the frantic thumping of his heart. But after ten minutes alone in the dark street, a new emotion overtook him: panic. Whichever way he looked at it, he had never been in a worse fix. He was stranded, quite alone, in the dark Muggle world, with absolutely nowhere to go.**

'Come and see me, I think you're great, Prongs re-incarnated' Sirius shouted, hoping Harry could hear him.

**And the worst of it was, he had just done serious magic, which meant that he was almost certainly expelled from Hogwarts. He had broken the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry so badly, he was surprised Ministry of Magic representatives weren't swooping down on him where he sat.**

**Harry shivered and looked up and down Magnolia Crescent. What was going to happen to him? Would he be arrested, or would he simply be outlawed from the wizarding world? He thought of Ron and Hermione, and his heart sank even lower. Harry was sure that, criminal or not, Ron and Hermione would want to help him now, but they were both abroad, and with Hedwig gone, he had no means of contacting them. He didn't have any Muggle money either. There was a little wizard gold in the money bag at the bottom of the trunk, but the rest of the fortune his parents had left him was stored in a vault at Gringotts Wizarding Bank in London. **

'See, I have a fortune' James shouted. The others just shook their heads. Of course they had a fortune, the Potters were one of the greatest wizarding families left, and their youngest member wasn't going to get nothing. They knew James couldn't have wasted that much money.

**He'd never be able to drag his trunk all the way to London. Unless…**

**He looked down at his wand, which he was still clutching in his hand. If he was already expelled (his heart was now thumping painfully fast), a bit more magic couldn't hurt. He had the Invisibility Cloak he had inherited from his father what if he bewitched the trunk to make it feather-light, tied it to his broomstick, covered himself in the cloak, and flew to London?**

'How did the person who wrote this know about my cloak?' James grew suspicious.

**Then he could get the rest of his money out of his vault and…begin his life as an outcast. It was a horrible prospect, but he couldn't sit on this wall forever, or he'd find himself trying to explain to Muggle police why he was out in the dead of night with a trunkful of spellbooks and a broomstick.**

'How I'd love to hear that one. Another of the famous Potter excuses' Remus laughed. Then changed his voice to a mocking tone, 'sorry Professor, its not me who turned Snape purple with red spots, even though I'm the only one in the hall with my wand out, it must have been a bite from the Lua-lua bug that lives under the tables.'

James simply grinned while the others laughed. 'I thought that was a pretty good one'

**Harry opened his trunk again and pushed the contents aside, looking for the Invisibility Cloak - but before he had found it, he straightened up suddenly, looking around him once more. A funny prickling on the back of his neck had made Harry feel he was being watched, but the street appeared to be deserted, and no lights shone from any of the large square houses.**

"**He bent over the his trunk again, but almost immediately stood up once more, his hand clenched on his want. He had sensed rather than heard it: someone or something was standing in the narrow gap between the garage and the fence behind him. Harry squinted at the black alleyway. If only it would move, then he'd know whether it was just a stray cat or - something else.**

**"_Lumos_," Harry muttered, and a light appeared at the end of his wand, almost dazzling him. He held it high over his head, and the pebble-dashed walls of number two suddenly sparkled; the garage door gleamed, and between them Harry saw, quite distinctly, the hulking outline of something very big, with wide, gleaming eyes. **

**Harry stepped backward. His legs hit his trunk and he tripped. His wand flew out of his hand as he flung out an arm to break his fall, and he landed hard, in the gutter -**

**There was a deafening BANG, and Harry threw up his hands to shield his eyes against a sudden blinding light –**

'Yes, it's the bus, you called the bus!' Sirius began to bounce on the bed.

**With a yell, he rolled back onto the pavement, just in time. A second later, a gigantic pair of wheels and headlights screeched to a halt exactly where Harry had just been lying. They belonged, as Harry saw when he raised his head, to a triple-decker, violently purple bus, which had appeared out of thin air. Gold lettering over the windshield spelled _The Knight Bus_.**

Sirius screamed.

**For a split second, Harry wondered if he had been knocked silly by his fall. Then a conductor in a purple uniform leapt out of the bus and began to speak loudly to the night. "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor this eve-"**

'Isn't he that spotty first year?' Remus asked. James and Sirius shrugged their shoulders. Neither of them payed any attention to any of the lower years, they didn't pay much to the upper years for that matter, only the fit girls in them, or the ones they knew from quidditch.

**The conductor stopped abruptly. He had just caught sight of Harry, who was still sitting on the ground. Harry snatched up his wand again and scrambled to his feet. Close up, he saw that Stan Shunpike was only a few years older than he was, eighteen or nineteen at most, with large protruding ears and quite a few pimples.**

'A few!' Peter laughed, 'crater face!' the others still didn't know who he was so didn't understand the joke and Remus would never make fun of someone because of their complexion. Besides it's a well known fact if you laugh at someone else because of their spots you get a big lurker of your own soon after as punishment.

**"What were you doin' down there?" said Stan, dropping his professional manner.**

**"Fell over," said Harry.**

**"'Choo fall over for?" sniggered Stan.**

'Leave him alone, he blew up his aunt' Sirius grinned.

**"I didn't do it on purpose," said Harry, annoyed.**

**One of the knees in his jeans was torn, and the hand he had thrown out to break his fall was bleeding. He suddenly remembered why he had fallen over and turned around quickly to stare at the alleyway between the garage and fence. The Knight Bus's headlamps were flooding it with light, and it was empty.**

**"'Choo lookin' at?" said Stan.**

**"There was a big black thing," said Harry, pointing uncertainly into the gap. "Like a dog…but massive…"**

'Oh, it's me, well Padfoot'

**He looked around at Stan, whose mouth was slightly open. With a feeling of unease, Harry saw Stan's eyes move to the scar on Harry's forehead. "Woss that on your 'ead?" said Stan abruptly.**

**"Nothing," said Harry quickly, flattening his hair over his scar. If the Ministry of Magic was looking for him, he didn't want to make it too easy for them.**

**"Woss your name?" Stan persisted.**

**"Neville Longbottom," **

'As in Frank?' James asked. Frank was the son of his mother's friend, a rather scary woman if you asked James. Anyway, James had always liked Frank, he frequently tried but failed to keep James' mischievous behaviour under control whilst in school. Joking that Sirius was a bad influence on him, even though James knew he wouldn't have either of them any other way. He was almost like an older cousin to the both of them. In fact if they traced their family trees they were probably all related somehow, all pureblood wizarding families were.

'I'll miss Frank' Sirius reminded them that the previous head boy had left at the end of last year to become an auror.

**said Harry, saying the first name that came into his head. "So - so this bus," he went on quickly, hoping to distract Stan, "did you say it goes _anywhere_?"**

**"Yep," said Stan proudly, "anywhere you like, long's it's on land. Can't do nuffink underwater. 'Ere," he said, looking suspicious again, "you _did_ flag us down, dincha? Stuck out your wand 'and, dincha?"**

**"Yes," said Harry quickly. "Listen, how much would it be to get to London?"**

**"Eleven Sickles," said Stan, "but for firteen you get 'ot chocolate and for fifteen you get an 'ot water bottle an' a too brush in the color of your choice."**

**Harry rummaged once more in his trunk, extracted his money bag, and shoved some gold into Stan's hand. He and Stan then lifted his trunk, with Hedwig's cage balanced on top, up the steps of the bus.**

**There were no seats; instead, half a dozen brass bedsteads stood beside the curtained windows. Candles were burning in brackets beside each bed, illuminating the wood-paneled walls. A tiny wizard in a nightcap at the rear of the bus muttered, "Not now, thanks, I'm pickling some slugs" and rolled over in his sleep.**

'Ugh! Sounds like something you would eat Peter!' Sirius said in disgust. The other two had almost forgotten the smaller boy in the corner. He never really said much, just listened, taking everything in.

**"You 'ave this one," Stan whispered, shoving Harry's trunk under the bed right behind the driver, who was sitting in an armchair in front of the steering wheel. "This is our driver, Ernie Prang. **

'Good old Ernie, still driving strong'

**This is Neville Longbottom, Ern." Ernie Prang, an elderly wizard wearing very thick glasses,**

'Probably the same glasses he wears now, and has done for the past 20 years, my mum said so' Sirius said. The other boys were slightly shocked. Sirius never mentioned his much hated mother. They presumed he referred to the time before he went to Hogwarts when she'd still talk to him without calling him a blood traitor.

**nodded to Harry, who nervously flattened his bangs again and sat down on his bed. "Take 'er away, Ern," said Stan, sitting down in the armchair next to Ernie's.**

**There was another tremendous BANG, and the next moment Harry found himself flat on his bed, thrown backward by the speed of the Knight Bus. Pulling himself up, Harry stared out of the dark window and saw that they were now bowling along a completely different street. Stan was watching Harry's stunned face with great enjoyment. "This is where we was before you flagged us down," he said. "Where are we, Ern? Somewhere in Wales?"**

**"Ar," said Ernie.**

**"How come the Muggles don't hear the bus?" said Harry.**

**"Them!" said Stan contemptuously. "Don' listen properly, do they? Don' look properly either. Never notice nuffink, they don'."**

**"Best go wake up Madam Marsh, Stan," said Ern. "We'll be in Abergavenny in a minute."**

**Stan passed Harry's bed and disappeared up a narrow wooden staircase. Harry was still looking out of the window, feeling increasingly nervous. Ernie didn't seem to have mastered the use of a steering wheel.**

'Never did and never will' Sirius took the knight bus every year to get to James' as soon as he was sick of Grimmauld Place. He considered it his own almost.

**The Knight Bus kept mounting the pavement, but it didn't hit anything; lines of lampposts, mailboxes, and trash cans jumped out of its way as it approached and back into position once it had passed. Stan came back downstairs, followed by a faintly green witch wrapped in a traveling cloak. "'Ere you go, Madam Marsh," said Stan happily as Ern stamped on the brake and the beds slid a foot or so toward the front of the bus. **

**Madam Marsh clamped a handkerchief to her mouth and tottered down the steps. Stan threw her bag out after her and rammed the doors shut; there was another loud BANG, and they were thundering down a narrow country land, trees leaping out of the way. Harry wouldn't have been able to sleep even if he had been traveling on a bus that didn't keep banging loudly and jumping a hundred miles at a time. His stomach churned as he fell back to wondering what was going to happen to him, and whether the Dursleys had managed to get Aunt Marge off the ceiling yet.**

This set all four boys laughing to themselves and mutterings of 'hopefully not' could be heard.

**Stan had unfurled a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and was now reading with his tongue between his teeth. A large photograph of a sunken-faced man with long, matted hair blinked slowly at Harry from the front page. He looked strangely familiar.**

**"That man!" Harry said, forgetting his troubles for a moment. "He was on the Muggle news!"  
Stanley turned to the front page and chuckled. "Sirius Black," he said, nodding. "'Course 'e was on the Muggle news, Neville, where you been?"**

'Black as in the muggle criminal!' James asked disbelieving, 'that's you?' he laughed.

Remus simply shook his head, 'What you done this time Siri?'

**He gave a superior sort of chuckle at the blank look on Harry's face, removed the front page, and handed it to Harry. "You oughta read the papers more, Neville."**

**Harry held the paper up to the candlelight and read:**

_**BLACK STILL AT LARGE**_

_**Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisoner ever to be held in Azkaban fortress, is still eluding capture, the Ministry of Magic confirmed today.**_

Sirius paled. At this point all four boys had forgotten they thought this book was fiction.

_**"We are doing all we can to recapture Black," said the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, this morning, "and we beg the magical community to remain calm." Fudge has been criticized by some members of the International Federation of Warlocks for informing the Muggle Prime Minister of the crisis. "Well, really, I had to, don't you know," said an irritable Fudge. "Black is mad. He's a danger to anyone who crosses him, magic or Muggle. I have the Prime Minister's assurance that he will not breathe a word of Black's true identity to anyone. And let's face it - who'd believe him if he did?" While Muggles have been told that Black is carrying a gun (a kind of metal wand that Muggles use to kill each other), the magical community lives in fear or a massacre like that of twelve years ago, when Black murdered thirteen people with a single curse.**_

The silence following was uncomfortable. James tried to comfort his friends by turning it into a joke.

'Like Siri could pull off such a curse' he laughed, knowing quite well that Sirius was a very powerful wizard and could almost certainly do it with ease.

'Yeah' Remus continued, helping James fight the silence, 'whoever wrote this has a sense off humour, Sirius, a dark wizard, cause that'll happen!' they all laughed a little less awkwardly.

'Hey, I like the idea I can break out of Azkaban' he grinned.

**Harry looked into the shadowed eyes of Sirius Black, the only part of the sunken face that seemed alive. Harry had never seen a vampire, but he had seen pictures of them in his Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, and Black, with his waxy white skin, looked just like one.**

'I resent that; I'm the school heart-throb'

**"Scary-lookin' fing, inee?" said Stan, who had been watching Harry read.**

'Grr' Sirius pulled a weird face in an attempt to look scary. James could not stop laughing as he had looked more like a constipated sheep.

**"He murdered _thirteen people_?" said Harry, handing the page back to Stan, "with _one curse_?"**

**"Yep," said Stan, "in front of witnesses an' all. Broad daylight. Big trouble it caused, dinnit, Ern?"**

Remus sighed, 'you're that stupid Sirius, to do it in front of a street of witnesses. That'll be because there's no James to watch you're back. I tell you, put you together and you're undefeatable but apart you've got the common sense of an earwig!'

**"Ar," said Ern darkly.**

**Stan swiveled in his armchair, his hands on the back, the better to look at Harry. "Black woz a big supporter of You-Know-'Oo," he said.**

At this Sirius began to laugh. He had spent his teens as an outcast from his family because he was against the dark lord. The thought of him being a supporter was to him absurd.

**"What, Voldemort?" said Harry, without thinking.  
Even Stan's pimples went white; Ern jerked the steering wheel so hard that a whole farmhouse had to jump aside to avoid the bus. "You outta your tree?" yelped Stan. "'Choo say 'is name for?"**

'Because he's wonder-prongs' Remus said sarcastically before James could say anything.

**"Sorry," said Harry hastily. "Sorry, I - I forgot -"**

**"Forgot!" said Stan weakly. "Blimey, my 'eart's going that fast…"**

**"So - so Black was a supporter of You-Know-Who?" Harry prompted apologetically.**

**"Yeah," said Stan, still rubbing his chest. "Yeah, that's right. Very close to You-Know-'Oo, they say. Anyway, when little 'Arry Potter got the better of You-Know-'Oo -"**

'Hey, if everything is the opposite I hope they're not insinuating that my son will be a failure and not the wonderful saviour he is here' James snapped.

**Harry nervously flattened his bangs down again.**

**"- all You-Know-'Oo's supporters was tracked down, wasn't they, Ern? Most of 'em knew it was all over, wiv You-Know-'Oo gone, and they came quiet. But not Sirius Black. I 'eard he thought 'e'd be second-in-command once You-Know-'Oo 'ad taken over."**

'I don't think anyone is that stupid to put Sirius in command, come on, we've got to give Voldie some credit' James laughed.

**"Anyway, they cornered Black in the middle of a street full of Muggles an' Black took out 'is wand and 'e blasted 'alf the street apart, an' a wizard got it, an' so did a dozen Muggles what got in the way. 'Orrible, eh? An' you know what Black did then?" Stan continued in a dramatic whisper.**

**"What?" said Harry.**

**"_Laughed_," said Stan. **

'That's definitely Sirius, you really are a donk. Whoever wrote this must know us all pretty well'. Remus said.

**"Jus' stood there an' laughed. An when reinforcements from the Ministry of Magic got there, 'e went wiv 'em quiet as anyfink, still laughing 'is head off 'Cos 'e's mad, inee, Ern? Inee mad?"**

'Course, I am, always have been, always will be' Sirius said smugly.

**"If he weren't when he went to Azkaban, he will be now," said Ern in his slow voice. "I'd blow meself up before I set foot in that place. Serves him right, mind you…after what he did…"**

**"They 'ad a job coverin' it up, din' they, Ern?" Stan said. "'Ole street blown up an' all them Muggles dead. What was it they said 'ad happened, Ern?"**

**"Gas explosion," grunted Ernie.**

'Muggles are so thick' Peter groaned. The other three stared, he had said nothing for what seemed like hours and they had to admit that was a prettyrandom, mean comment.

**"An' now 'e's out," said Stan, examining the newspaper picture of Black's gaunt face again. "Never been a breakout from Azkaban before, 'as there, Ern? Beats me 'ow he did it. Frightenin', eh? Mind, I don't fancy 'is chances against them Azkaban guards, eh, Ern?"**

'It's 'cause I'm a marauder' Sirius proclaimed, 'a magical mischief maker, and one of the best for that matter'

**Ernie suddenly shivered. "Talk about summat else, Stan, there's a good lad. Them Azkaban guards give me the collywobbles."**

'They give you the bloody collywobbles Ernie mate, I've got to go there' the other three worried as their friend began talking about Dementors to an imaginary bus driver,

**Stan put the paper away reluctantly, and Harry leaned against the window of the Knight Bus, feeling worse than ever. He couldn't help imagining what Stan might be telling his passengers in a few nights' time.**

**"'Ear about that 'Arry Potter? Blew up 'is aunt! We 'ad 'im 'ere on the Knight Bus, di'n't we, Ern? 'E was tryin' to run for it…."**

**He, Harry, had broken wizard law just like Sirius Black. Was inflating Aunt Marge bad enough to land him in Azkaban?**

'Just like Prongs, he's got no common sense, I've yet to see the Lily in him' Remus pointed out.

**Harry didn't know anything about the wizard prison, though everyone he'd ever heard speak of it did so in the same fearful tone. Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper, had spent two months there only last year.**

'Mm, maybe it had something to do with the illegal dragon's egg' James offered.

**Harry wouldn't soon forget the look of terror on Hagrid's face when he had been told where he was going, and Hagrid was one of the bravest people Harry knew.**

'Only because he's never met us' Sirius stuck out his chest.

**The Knight Bus rolled through the darkness, scattering bushes and wastebaskets, telephone booths and trees, and Harry lay, restless and miserable on his feather bed. After a while, Stan remembered that Harry had paid for hot chocolate, but poured it all over Harry's pillow when the bus moved abruptly from Anglesea to Aberdeen. One by one, wizards and witches in dressing gowns and slippers descended from the upper floors to leave the bus. They all looked very pleased to go.**

**Finally, Harry was the only passenger left. **

**"Right then, Neville," said Stan, clapping his hands, "whereabouts in London?"**

**"Diagon Alley," said Harry.**

**"Righto," said Stan. "'Old tight, then."**

**BANG**

**They were thundering along Charing Cross Road. Harry sat up and watched buildings and benches squeezing themselves out of the Knight Bus's way. The sky was getting a little lighter. He would lie low for a couple of hours, go to Gringotts the moment it opened, then set off - where, he didn't know. Ern slammed on the brakes and the Knight Bus skidded to a halt in front of a small and shabby-looking pub, the Leaky Cauldron, behind which lay the magical entrance to Diagon Alley.**

**"Thanks," Harry said to Earn. He jumped down the steps and helped Stan lower his trunk and Hedwig's cage onto the pavement. "Well," said Harry. "'Bye then!"**

**But Stan wasn't paying attention. Still standing in the doorway to the bus, he was goggling at the shadowy entrance to the Leaky Cauldron.**

**"_There_ you are, Harry," said a voice.**

**Before Harry could turn, he felt a hand on his shoulder. At the same time, Stan shouted, "Blimey! Ern, come 'ere! Come '_ere_!" Harry looked up at the owner of the hand on his shoulder and felt a bucketful of ice cascade into his stomach - he had walked right into Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic himself.**

Remus could be heard muttering to himself, 'Cornelious Fudge? I always thought it'd be Crouch.'

'Cool, Hazza gets the actual Minister coming after him'

'Padfoot, you have the entire bloody country after you!'

'Oh yeah, mint!'

**Stan leapt down onto the pavement beside them. "What didja call Neville, Minister?" he said excitedly.**

**Fudge, a portly little man in a long, pinstriped cloak, looked cold and exhausted. "Neville?" he repeated, frowning. "This is Harry Potter."**

**"I knew it!" Stan shouted gleefully. "Ern! Ern! Guess 'oo Neville is, Ern! 'E's 'Arry Potter! I can see 'is scar!"**

'Poor lad' said Remus thoughtfully, 'he must get that all the time'

**"Yes," said Fudge testily, "well, I'm very glad the Knight Bus picked Harry up, but he and I need to step inside the Leaky Cauldron now…" **

**Fudge increased the pressure on Harry's left shoulder, and Harry found himself being steered inside the pub. **

**A stooping figure bearing a lantern appeared through the door behind the bar. It was Tom, the wizened, toothless landlord. "You've got him, Minister!" said Tom. "Will you be wanting anything? Beer? Brandy?"**

**"Perhaps a pot of tea," said Fudge, who still hadn't let go of Harry.**

**There was a loud scraping and puffing from behind them, and Stan and Ern appeared, carrying Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage and looking around excitedly. "'Ow come you di'n't tell us 'oo you are, eh, Neville?" said Stan, beaming at Harry, while Ernie's owlish face peered interestedly over Stan's shoulder.**

**"And a _private_ parlor, please, Tom," said Fudge pointedly.**

**"Bye," Harry said miserably to Stan and Ern as Tom beckoned Fudge toward the passage that led from the bar.**

**"Bye, Neville!" called Stan.**

**Fudge marched Harry along the narrow passage after Tom's lantern, and then into a small parlor. Tom clicked his fingers, a fire burst into life in the grate, and he bowed himself out of the room. "Sit down, Harry," said Fudge, indicating a chair by the fire.**

**Harry sat down, feeling goose bumps rising up his arms despite the glow of the fire. Fudge took off his pinstriped cloak and tossed it aside, then hitched up the trousers of his bottle-green suit and sat down opposite Harry. "I'm Cornelius Fudge, Harry. The Minister of Magic."**

**Harry already knew this of course; he had seen Fudge once before, but as he had been wearing his father's Invisibility Cloak at the time, Fudge wasn't to know that.**

'Glad to see he uses our gift well'

'Since when is the cloak yours Sirius'

**Tom the innkeeper reappeared, wearing an apron over his nightshirt and bearing a tray of tea and crumpets. He placed the tray on the table between Fudge and Harry and left the parlor, closing the door behind him.**

**"Well, Harry," said Fudge, pouring out tea, "you've had us all in a right flap, I don't' mind telling you. Running away from your aunt and uncle's house like that! I'd started to think…but you're safe, and that's what matters. Fudge buttered himself a crumpet and pushed the plate toward Harry. "Eat, Harry, you look dead on your feet. Now then…You will be pleased to hear that we have dealt with the unfortunate blowing-up of Miss Marjorie Dursley. Two members of the Accidental Magic Reversal Department were dispatched to Privet Drive a few hours ago. Miss Dursley has been punctured and her memory has been modified. She has no recollection of the incident at all. So that's that, and no harm done."**

'What, he's letting him off, he blew up his aunt for heavens sake' James stared at the book in disbelief.

'I got to try that on my aunt' James knew exactly which aunt Sirius was talking about. He absolutely detested his mother's sister. The one who had three daughters, two of which were complete cows, Bellatrix and Narcissa, black witches to the core.

**Fudge smiled at Harry over the rim of his teacup, rather like an uncle surveying a favorite nephew. Harry, who couldn't believe his ears, opened his mouth to speak, couldn't think of anything to say, and closed it again.**

**"Ah, you're worried about the reaction of your aunt and uncle?" said Fudge. "Well, I won't deny that they are extremely angry, Harry, but they are prepared to take you back next summer as long as you stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas and Easter holidays."**

Sirius scoffed, 'he'll not be disappointed'

"** Harry unstuck his throat. "I _always_ stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas and Easter holidays," he said, "and I don't ever want to go back to Privet Drive."**

**"Now, now, I'm sure you'll feel differently once you've calmed down," said Fudge in a worried tone. "They are your family, after all, and I'm sure you are fond of each other - er - _very_ deep down."**

'Ha!' all the boys said together.

**It didn't occur to Harry to put Fudge right. He was still waiting to hear what was going to happen to him now.**

**"So all that remains," said Fudge, now buttering himself a second crumpet, "is to decide where you're going to spend the last two weeks of your vacation. I suggest you take a room here at the Leaky Cauldron and -"**

**"Hang on," blurted Harry. "What about my punishment?"**

'What a fool!' James shouted

'He definitely missed out on some of your advice prongs' Sirius added

'You don't ask for punishment' Remus stated

'Shut up' Peter summed it all up.

**Fudge blinked. "Punishment?"**

'Even Fudge thinks he's weird'

**"I broke the law!" Harry said. "The Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry!"**

'God Harry no, no no!' James pleaded. 'There's the Lily in him for you Moony, so righteous'

'No no, Jimmy, that's just more of the Prongs 'speak before you think'-ing'

**"Oh, my dear boy, we're not going to punish you for a little thing like that!" cried Fudge, waving his crumpet impatiently. "It was an accident! We don't send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts!"**

'Maybe next summer might be quite fun' Sirius joked, but James noticed a scary seriousness in his eyes.

**But this didn't tally at all with Harry's past dealings with the Ministry of Magic. "Last year, I got an official warning just because a house-elf smashed a pudding in my uncle's house!" he told Fudge, frowning. "The Ministry of Magic said I'd be expelled from Hogwarts if there was any more magic there!"**

**Unless Harry's eyes were deceiving him, Fudge was suddenly looking awkward. "Circumstances change, Harry…We have to take into account…in the present climate…Surely you don't _want_ to be expelled?"**

**"Of course I don't," said Harry.**

**"Well then, what's all the fuss about?" laughed Fudge. "Now, have a crumpet, Harry, while I go and see if Tom's got a room for you."**

**Fudge strode out of the parlor, and Harry stared after him. There was something extremely odd going on. Why had Fudge been waiting for him at the Leaky Cauldron if not to punish him for what he'd done? And now Harry came to think of it, surely it wasn't usual for the Minister of Magic _himself_ to get involved in matters of underage magic?**

'My son's just special' the other three rolled their eyes.

**Fudge came back, accompanied by Tom the innkeeper. "Room eleven's free, Harry," said Fudge. "I think you'll be very comfortable. Just one thing, and I'm sure you'll understand…I don't want you wandering off into Muggle London, all right? Keep to Diagon Alley. And you're to be back here before dark each night. Sure you'll understand. Tom will be keeping an eye on you for me."**

**"Okay," said Harry slowly, "but why-?"**

'Just let him leave you dunce' Sirius yelled.

**"Don't want to lose you again, do we?" said Fudge with a hearty laugh. "No, no…best we know where you are…I mean…"**

**Fudge cleared his throat loudly and picked up his pinstriped cloak. "Well, I'll be off, plenty to do, you know…"**

**"Have you had any luck with Black yet?" Harry asked.**

**Fudge's finger slipped on the silver fastenings of his cloak. "What's that? Oh, you've heard - well, no, not yet, but it's only a matter of time. The Azkaban guards have never yet failed…and they are angrier than I've ever seen them." Fudge shuddered slightly. "So, I'll say good-bye."**

'Oo Siri, you made sticky Fudge all mad' James laughed. He had never liked people involved in the ministry.

**He held out his hand and Harry, shaking it, had a sudden idea. "Er - Minister? Can I ask you something?"**

**"Certainly," said Fudge with a smile.**

**"Well, third years at Hogwarts are allowed to visit Hogsmeade, but my aunt and uncle didn't sign the permission form. D'you think you could -?"**

**Fudge was looking uncomfortable. "Ah," he said. "No, no, I'm very sorry, Harry, but as I'm not your parent or guardian -"**

'Course he could if he wanted, he's the minister' Remus said, rather matter of factly.

**"But you're the Minister of Magic," said Harry eagerly. "If you gave me permission -"**

'Exactly Harry'

**"No, I'm sorry, Harry, but rules are rules," said Fudge flatly. "Perhaps you'll be able to visit Hogsmeade next year. In fact, I think it's best if you don't…yes…well, I'll be off. Enjoy your stay, Harry."**

'He is soo hiding something' Remus, ever the suspicious one spoke up.

**And with a last smile and shake of Harry's hand, Fudge left the room. Tom now moved forward, beaming at Harry. "If you'll follow me, Mr. Potter," he said, "I've already taken your things up…."**

**Harry followed Tom up a handsome wooden staircase to a door with a brass number eleven on it, which Tom unlocked and opened for him. Inside was a very comfortable-looking bed, some highly polished oak furniture, a cheerfully crackling fire, and perched on top of the wardrobe -**

**"Hedwig!" Harry gasped.**

**The snowy owl clicked her beak and fluttered down onto Harry's arm.**

**"Very smart owl you've got there," chuckled Tom. "Arrived about five minutes after you did. If there's anything you need, Mr. Potter, don't hesitate to ask." He gave another bow and left.**

**Harry sat on his bed for a long time, absentmindedly stroking Hedwig. The sky outside the window was changing rapidly from deep velvety blue to cold, steely gray and then, slowly, to pink shot with gold. Harry could hardly believe that he'd left Privet Drive only a few hours ago, that he wasn't expelled, and that he was now facing two completely Dursley-free weeks. "It's been a very weird night, Hedwig," he yawned.**

**And without even removing his glasses, he slumped back onto his pillows and fell asleep.**

'Mm that's not sensible, they'll break, knowing how easily James' do' Sirius laughed. James sub consciously pushed his glasses up his nose.

Remus made once more to stop reading. It was one o'clock and he was tired. As much as he wanted to know about Harry the story could wait. James however it seemed had got too involved, as had Sirius and the two had hardly noticed the time. They both wanted to read on and Remus had a near impossible job persuading one of them when they were adamant but he simply couldn't even be bothered to try with the two of them. After receiving no support from Wormtail, he insisted this was the last chapter and read on.

Chapter Four The Leaky Cauldron…"

**It took Harry several days to get used to his strange new freedom. Never before had he been able to get up whenever he pleased, or eat whatever he fancied. **

'Maybe I should try that next summer' Sirius looked hopeful.

'You do as you please anyway when you're at James' house' Remus joked.

**He could even go wherever he pleased, as long as it was in Diagon Alley, and as this long cobbled street was packed with the most fascinating wizarding shops in the world, Harry felt no desire to break his word to Fudge and stray back into the Muggle world. **

'There's the Lily in him' Sirius moaned, 'James would know that rules should always be challenged, and broken'

**Harry ate breakfast each morning in the Leaky Cauldron, where he liked watching the other guests: funny little witches from the country, up for a day's shopping; venerable-looking wizards arguing over the latest article in _Transfiguration Today_; wild-looking warlocks; raucous dwarfs; and once, what looked suspiciously like a hag, who ordered a plate of raw liver from behind a thick woolen balaclava.**

'That witch is still around' James laughed. She had been the source of many nightmares for a young James Potter after his first ever floo to the leaky cauldron when he was four.

**After breakfast, Harry would go out into the backyard, take out his wand, tap the third brick from the left above the trash bin, and stand back as the archway into Diagon Alley opened in the wall.**

**Harry spent the long sunny days exploring the shops and eating under the brightly colored umbrellas outside cafes, where his fellow diners were showing one another their purchases ("it's a lunascope, old boy – no more messing around with moon charts, see?")**

'Just use Moony, he's handy in these ways' James joked.

**or discussing the case of Sirius Black ("personally, I won't let any of the children out alone until he's back in Azkaban").**

'Hey I resent that'

'I agree, keep your children away from Sirius' Remus laughed.

**Harry didn't have to do his homework under the blankets by flashlight anymore; now he could sit in the bright sunshine outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, finishing all his essays with occasional help from Florean Fortescue himself, who, apart from knowing a great deal about medieval witch burnings, gave Harry free sundaes every half hour.**

'Hey he never gives us free sundaes' Sirius looked hurt.

'Probably after we put dungbombs in his ovens after second year and he had to shut the shop for a week because the ice cream that was being made smelt really bad' James said in an offhand way.

**Once Harry had refilled his money bag with gold Galleons, silver Sickles, and bronze Knuts from his vault at Gringotts, he had to exercise a lot of self-control not to spend the whole lot at once.**

'Harry definitely got his self control from Lils too' Remus laughed. He was the only one of the four whom the red head didn't detest with all her power.

**He had to keep reminding himself that he had five years to go at Hogwarts, and how would it feel to ask the Dursleys for money for spellbooks, to stop himself from buying a handsome set of solid gold Gobstones (a wizarding game rather like marbles, in which the stones squirt a nasty-smelling liquid into the other player's face when they lose a point). **

'I love that game' Sirius shouted.

'I hate it!' Like many things; Peter wasn't very good at it and always ended up losing and so, getting smelly.

**He was sorely tempted, too, by the perfect moving model of the galaxy in a large glass ball, which would have meant that he never had to take another Astronomy lesson. But the thing that tested Harry's resolution the most appeared in his favorite shop, Quality Quidditch Supplies, a week after he'd arrived at the Leaky Cauldron**

'That's my boy' Sirius said proudly.

James simply looked at him disbelieving, 'your boy?'

'Well he is my godson' Sirius answered.

'How are you so sure, I might have picked Remus' James joked.

'Would not'

Remus could sense a fight coming on so decided it was time to remind them all that Harry wasn't real.

**Curious to know what the crowd in the shop was staring at, Harry edged his way inside and squeezed in among the excited witches and wizards until he glimpsed a newly erected podium, on which was mounted the most magnificent broom he'd ever seen in his life**

"**Just come out – prototype –" a square-jawed wizard was telling his companion.**

"**It's the fastest broom in the world, isn't it, Dad?" squeaked a boy younger than Harry, who was swinging off his father's arm.#**

'They always say that' James was unimpressed.

"**Irish International Side's just put in an order for seven of these beauties!" the proprietor of the shop told the crowd. "And they're favorites for the World Cup!"**

'The Irish are the best?' Sirius asked in frustration, from whose wild imagination did this story come from?'

**A large witch in front of Harry moved, and he was able to read the sign next to the broom:**

_**THE FIREBOLT**_

**THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART RACING BROOM SPORTS A STREAMLINED, SUPERFINE HANDLE OF ASH, TREATED WITH A DIAMOND-HARD POLISH AND HAND-MUMBERED WITH ITS OWN REGISTRATION NUMBER. EACH INDIVIDUALLY SELECTED BIRCH TWIG IN THE BROOMTAIL HAS BEEN HONED TO AERODYNAMIC PERFECTION, GIVING THE FIREBOLT UNSURPASSABLE BALANCE AND PINPOINT PRECISION. THE FIREBOLT HAS AN ACCELERATION OF 150 MILES AN HOUR IN TEN SECONDS AND INCORPORATES AN UNBREAKABLE BRAKING CHARM. PRICE ON REQUEST.**

'I want that broom' James demanded.

'Me too!' Sirius stated.

Even Remus, who wasn't a big quidditch player, was impressed, and Peter began to think that with a broom like even he could make the house team.

**Price on request...Harry didn't like to think how much gold the Firebolt would cost. He had never wanted anything as much in his whole life - but he had never lost a Quidditch match on his Nimbus Two Thousand, and what was the point in emptying his Gringotts vault for the Firebolt, when he had a very good broom already? Harry didn't ask for the price, but he returned almost every day after that just to look at the Firebolt. **

'Buy it Harry, please buy it for me, if I were around, I'd get it for you' Sirius pleaded.

**There were, however, things that Harry needed to buy. He went to the Apothecary to replenish his store of potions ingredients, and as his school robes were now several inches too short in the arm and leg, he visited Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions and bought new ones. Most important of all, he had to buy his new schoolbooks, which would include those for his two new subjects, Care of Magical Creatures and Divination.**

'Boring, get the broom'

**Harry got a surprise as he looked in the bookshop window. Instead of the usual display of gold-embossed spellbooks the size of paving slabs, there was a large iron cage behind the glass that held about a hundred copies of _The Monster Book of Monsters_. Torn pages were flying everywhere as the books grappled with each other, locked together in furious wrestling matches and snapping aggressively. Harry pulled his booklist out of his pocket and consulted it for the first time. _The Monster Book of Monsters_ was listed as the required book for Care of Magical Creatures.**

**Now Harry understood why Hagrid had said it would come in useful. He felt relieved; he had been wondering whether Hagrid wanted help with some terrifying new pet.**

**As Harry entered Flourish and Blotts, the manager came hurrying towards him. "Hogwarts?" he said abruptly. "Come to get your new books?"**

**"Yes," said Harry, "I need - "**

**"Get out of the way," said the manager impatiently, brushing Harry aside**

**He drew on a pair of very thick gloves, picked up a large, knobby walking stick, and proceeded toward the door of the _Monster Books_' cage.**

**"Hang on," said Harry quickly, "I've already got one of those."**

'Damn, I wanted to see him get bitten for nothing' Sirius laughed evilly causing the other three to give him a funny look.

**"Have you?" A look of enormous relief spread over the manager's face. "Thank heavens for that. I've been bitten five times already this morning - "**

**A loud ripping noise rent the air; two of the _Monster Books_ had seized a third and were pulling it apart.**

**"Stop it! Stop it!" cried the manager, poking the walking stick through the bars and knocking the books apart. "I'm never stocking them again, never! It's been bedlam! I thought we'd seen the worse when we bought two hundred copies of the _Invisible Book of Invisibility_ - cost a fortune, and we never found them...Well...is there anything else I can help you with?"**

'Ha that was last year, and you never found them because those two' Remus nodded toward James and Sirius who were trying to look innocent, 'hid them on the top shelves'

The two immature boys began to laugh in remembrance whilst Remus wondered if the stacks of books were still up three somewhere.

**"Yes," said Harry, looking down his booklist, "I need _Unfogging the Future_ by Cassandra Vablatsky."**

**"Ah, starting Divination, are you?" said the manager,**

'Oh God, not that stuff, it's a load of crap!'

'Hey Remus, you sound like Lily' Sirius laughed.

**stripping off his gloves and leading Harry into the back of the shop, where there was a corner devoted to fortune-telling. A small table was stacked with volumes such as _Predicting the Unpredictable: Insulate Yourself Against Shocks_ and_ Broken Balls: When Fortunes Turn Foul_. **

**"Here you are," said the manager, who had climbed a set of steps to take down a thick, black-bound book. "_Unfogging the Future_. Very good guide to all your basic fortune-telling methods - palmistry, crystal balls, bird entrails - "**

Remus coughed something that sounded like 'crap'.

**But Harry wasn't listening. His eyes had fallen on another book, which was among a display on a small table: _Death Omens: What to do When You Know the Worst Is Coming_.**

**"Oh, I wouldn't read that if I were you," said the manager lightly, looking to see what Harry was staring at. "You'll start seeing death omens everywhere. It's enough to frighten anyone to death."**

"**But Harry continued to stare at the front cover of the book; it showed a black dog large as a bear, with gleaming eyes. It looked oddly familiar...**

'It's me, oh Cathy, I'm on the bo-oo-oo-oo-ok' Sirius sang, before looking ashamed and muttering that he'd seen that book in flourish and blotts before, whilst the others stifled their laughter at their friends Kate Bush impression.

**The manager pressed _Unfogging the Future_ into Harry's hands. "Anything else?" he said.**

**"Yes," said Harry, tearing his eyes away from the god's and dazedly consulting his booklist. "Er - I need _Intermediate Transfiguration_ and _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Three_."**

**Harry emerged from Flourish and Blotts ten minutes later with his new books under his arm and made his way back to the Leaky Cauldron, hardly noticing where he was going and bumping into several people. He tramped up the stairs to his room, went inside, and tipped his books onto his bed. Somebody had been in to tidy; the windows were open and sun was pouring inside. Harry could hear the buses rolling by in the unseen Muggle street behind him and the sound of the invisible crowd below in Diagon Alley.**

**He caught sight of himself in the mirror over the basin. "It can't have been a death omen," he told his reflection defiantly. "I was panicking when I saw that thing in Magnolia Crescent...It was probably just a stray dog..."**

'Nope, a stray Sirius' James said.

'Just as bad' Remus laughed, 'in fact I'd rather see a death omen, at least then you have warning'

**He raised his hand automatically and tried to make his hair lie flat. "You're fighting a losing battle there, dear," said his mirror in a wheezy voice.**

'Ha Ha, couldn't of put it better myself' Sirius laughed. He had always laughed at the state of his friend's hair whilst his fell gracefully to his shoulders.

**As the days slipped by, Harry started looking wherever he went for a sign of Ron or Hermione. Plenty of Hogwarts students were arriving in Diagon Alley now, with the start of term so near. Harry met Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, his fellow Gryffindors, in Quality Quidditch Supplies, where they too were ogling the Firebolt; he also ran into the real Neville Longbottom, a round-faced, forgetful boy, outside Flourish and Blotts. Harry didn't stop to chat; Neville appeared to have mislaid his booklist and was being told off by his very formidable-looking grandmother. **

'Yep! It must be Frank's son. Whoever wrote this really knows his/her stuff' James wondered.

**Harry hoped she never found out that he'd pretended to be Neville while on the run from the Ministry of Magic.**

**Harry woke on the last day of the holidays, thinking that he would at least meet Ron and Hermione tomorrow, on the Hogwarts Express. He got up, dressed, and went for a last look at the Firebolt, and was just wondering where he'd have lunch, when someone yelled his name and he turned.**

**"Harry! HARRY!"**

**They were there, both of them, sitting outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor - Ron looking incredibly freckly, Hermione very brown, both waving frantically at him. "Finally!" said Ron, grinning at Harry as he sat down. "We went to the Leaky Cauldron, but they said you'd left, and we went to Flourish and Blotts, and Madam Malkin's, and -"**

**"I got all my school stuff last week," Harry explained. "And how come you knew I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron?"**

**"Dad," said Ron simply.**

**Mr. Weasley, who worked at the Ministry of Magic, would of course have heard the whole story of what had happened to Aunt Marge.**

**"Did you _really_ blow up your aunt, Harry?" said Hermione in a very serious voice.**

'Yes he did' Sirius said proudly.

**"I didn't mean to," said Harry, while Ron roared with laughter. "I just - lost control."**

**"It's not funny, Ron," said Hermione sharply. "Honestly, I'm amazed that Harry wasn't expelled."**

'Yeah yeah, spoil his moment' Sirius grumbled.

'I agree with Ron' agreed James.

'Yeah, but you've got to admit…'

'Shut up' Remus was cut off by the two boys shouting together.

**"So am I," admitted Harry. "Forget expelled, I thought I was going to be arrested." He looked at Ron. "Your Dad doesn't know why Fudge let me off, does he?"**

**"Probably 'cause it's you, isn't it?" shrugged Ron, still chuckling. "Famous Harry Potter and all that. **

'Maybe you shouldn't try Siri'

'What? I'm the famous Sirius Black and all that!' Sirius looked offended.

**I'd hate to see what the Ministry'd do to _me_ if I blew up an aunt. Mind you, they'd have to dig me up first, because Mom would have killed me.**

Peter nodded in agreement.

**Anyway, you can ask Dad yourself this evening. We're staying at the Leaky Cauldron tonight too! So you can come to King's Cross with us tomorrow! Hermione's there as well!"**

**Hermione nodded, beaming. "Mum and Dad dropped me of this morning with all my Hogwarts things."**

'Why don't our parents ever just drop us off at Diagon Alley?' Sirius grumbled.

'Sirius, you're barred from the Leaky Cauldron' Remus reminded him.

Peter, had not heard about this and was about to ask why when Remus continued to read. The other two boys just laughed as they remembered the recent incident.

**"Excellent!" said Harry happily. "So, have you got all your new books and stuff?"**

**"Look at this," said Ron, pulling a long thin box out of a bag and opening it. "Brand-new wand. Fourteen inches, willow, containing one unicorn tail-hair. And we've got all our books - " He pointed at a large bag under his chair. "What about those _Monster Books_, eh? The assistant nearly cried when we said we wanted two."**

**"What's all that, Hermione?" Harry asked, pointing at not one by three bulging bags in the chair next to her.**

**"Well, I'm taking more new subjects than you, aren't I?" said Hermione. "Those are my books for Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, the Study of Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies -"**

'Swot' Sirius shouted. Remus looked offended.

**"What are you taking Muggle Studies for?" said Ron, rolling his eyes at Harry. "You're Muggle-born! Your mum and dad are Muggles! You already know all about Muggles!"**

This sent Sirius off into fits of laughter, 'I love Ron' he shouted, 'just like his father, your son prongs my boy has impeccable taste in bestest best friends' he laughed.

**"But it'll be fascinating to study them from the wizarding point of view," said Hermione earnestly.**

Remus nodded in agreement and the others tried their best (but not very well) to hide their grins.

**"Are you planning to eat or sleep at all this year, Hermione?" asked Harry, while Ron sniggered.**

**Hermione ignored them. "I've still got ten Galleons," she said, checking her purse. "It's my birthday in September, and Mum and Dad gave me some money to get myself an early birthday present."**

**"How about a nice book?" said Ron innocently.**

This started Sirius off once more. Amongst his laughter he was shouting 'Weasleys are great!'

**"No, I don't think so," said Hermione composedly. "I really want an owl. I mean, Harry's got Hedwig and you've got Errol -"**

**"I haven't." said Ron. "Errol's a family owl. All I've got is Scabbers." He pulled his pet rat out of his pocket. "And I want to get him checked over," he added, placing Scabbers on the table in front of them. "I don't think Egypt agreed with him."**

**Scabbers was looking thinner than usual, and there was a definite droop to his whiskers.**

**"There's a magical creature shop just over there," said Harry, who knew Diagon Alley very well by now. "You could see if they've got anything for Scabbers, and Hermione can get her owl."**

**So they paid for their ice cream and crossed the street to the Magical Menagerie.**

**There wasn't much room inside. Every inch of the wall was hidden by cages. It was smelly and very noisy because the occupants of these cages were all squeaking, squawking, jabbering, or hissing. The witch behind the counter was already advising a wizard on the care of double-ended newts, so Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited, examining the cages. A pair of enormous purple toads sat gulping wetly and feasting on dead blowflies. A gigantic tortoise with a jewel-encrusted shell was glittering near the window. Poisonous orange snails were oozing slowly up the side of their glass tank, and a fat white rabbit kept changing into a silk top hat and back again with a loud popping noise. Then there were cats of every color, a noisy cage of ravens, a basket of funny custard-colored furballs that were humming loudly, and on the counter, a vast cage of sleek black rats that were playing some sort of skipping game using their long, bald tails.**

**The double-ended newt wizard left, and Ron approached the counter. "It's my rat," he told the witch. "He's been a bit off-color ever since I brought him back from Egypt."**

**"Bang him on the counter," said the witch, pulling a pair of heavy black spectacles out of her pocket.**

**Ron lifted Scabbers out of his inside pocket and placed him next to the cage of his fellow rats, who stopped their skipping tricks and scuffled to the wire for a better look. **

Peter muttered something about showing off.

**Like nearly everything Ron owned, Scabbers the rat was secondhand (he had once belong to Ron's brother, Percy) and a bit battered. Next to the glossy rats in the cage, he looked especially woebegone.**

**"Hm," said the witch, picking up Scabbers. "How old is this rat?"**

**"Dunno," said Ron. "Quite old. He used to belong to my brother."**

**"What powers does he have?" said the witch, examining Scabbers closely.**

**"Er -"**

**The truth was that Scabbers had never shown the faintest trace of interesting powers. The witch's eyes moved from Scabbers's tattered left ear to his front paw, which had a toe missing, and tutted loudly. "He's been through the mill, this one," she said.**

**"He was like that when Percy gave him to me," said Ron defensively.**

**" An ordinary common or garden rat like this can't be expected to live longer than three years or so," said the witch. "Now, if you were looking for something a bit more hard-wearing, you might like one of these..." She indicated the black rats, who promptly started skipping again.**

**Ron muttered, "Show-offs."**

'Exactemonde!' Peter said rather loudly. The others turned to him in surprise and he shrank once more into the corner.

**"Well, if you don't want a replacement, you can try this rat tonic," said the witch, reaching under the counter and bringing out a small red bottle.**

'Ugh! No that tastes grose' Peter exclaimed. After getting strange looks he explained, 'no, you remember at the end of the year when that first year caught me'

'Yeah Pete, cause you ate the bloody cheese in her trap' the marauders laughed and Peter looked ashamed

**"Okay," said Ron. "How much - OUCH!"**

**Ron buckled as something huge and orange came soaring from the top of the highest cage, landed on his head, and then propelled itself, spitting madly, at Scabbers.**

**"NO, CROOKSHANKS, NO!" cried the witch, but Scabbers shot from between her hands like a bar of soap, landed splay-legged on the floor, and then scampered for the door. **

**"Scabbers!" Ron shouted, racing out of the shop after him; Harry followed.**

**It took them nearly ten minutes to catch Scabbers, who had taken refuge under a wastepaper bin outside Quality Quidditch Supplies. Ron stuffed the trembling rat back into his pocket and straightened up, massaging his head. "What _was_ that?"**

**"Either a very big cat or quite a small tiger," said Harry.**

'Cool a tiger!' Sirius muttered.

'For someone whose animagus is a dog you get on rather well with cats mate' Remus pointed out.

"**"Where's Hermione?"**

**"Probably getting her owl - "**

**They made their way back up the crowded street to the Magical Menagerie. As they reached it, Hermione came out, but she wasn't carrying an owl. Her arms were clamped tightly around the enormous ginger cat.**

'I like cats, they're better than owls'

'Dogs aren't supposed to like cats' answered Remus

'Well I'm special'

'Weird' added James

'Sensitive'

The other three burst out laughing and Sirius pretended to be hurt.

**"You _bought_ that monster?" said Ron, his mouth hanging open.**

**"He's _gorgeous_, isn't he?" said Hermione, glowing.**

"** That was a matter of opinion, thought Harry.**

**The cat's ginger fur was thick and fluffy, but it was definitely a bit bowlegged and its face looked grumpy and oddly squashed, as though it had run headlong into a brick wall.**

'Ha' laughed Sirius,' we need to get ourselves a cat like that'

**Now that Scabbers was out of sight, however, the cat was purring contentedly in Hermione's arms.**

**"Hermione, that thing nearly scalped me!" said Ron.**

**"He didn't mean to, did you, Crookshanks?" said Hermione.**

**"And what about Scabbers?" said Ron, pointing at the lump in his chest pocket. "He needs rest and relaxation! How's he going to get it with that thing around?"**

**"That reminds me, you forgot your rat tonic," said Hermione, slapping the small red bottle into Ron's hand. "And stop worrying, Crookshanks will be sleeping in my dormitory and Scabbers in yours, what's the problem? Poor Crookshanks, that witch said he'd been in there for ages, no one wanted him.**

'Wonder why?' Peter said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. For Peter, his animal anxieties about cats were true. He was petrified of them. Then again he was of most things.

**"I wonder why," said Ron sarcastically as they set off toward the Leaky Cauldron.**

**They found Mr. Weasley sitting in the bar, reading the _Daily Prophet_. "Harry!" he said, smiling as he looked up. "How are you?"**

'Aww I love Arthur' Sirius interrupted, he noticed the looks he was getting, 'in a none homosexual way of course'

**"Fine, thanks," said Harry as he, Ron, and Hermione joined Mr. Weasley with all their shopping.**

**Mr. Weasley put down his paper, and Harry saw the now familiar picture of Sirius Black **

'Cool, everybody knows me!'

'Erm... that's not a good thing Padfoot, they think you're a brutal killer' Remus burst his bubble.

**staring up at him. "They haven't caught him, then?" he asked.**

**"No," said Mr. Weasley, looking extremely grave. "They've pulled us all off our regular jobs at the Ministry to try and find him, but no luck so far."**

'That's because I'm a marauder, and if I don't want to be found, I won't be' Sirius stood up tall and proud.

**"Would we get a reward if we caught him?" asked Ron. "It'd be good to get some more money - "**

'Pah! You catch me, don't be ridiculous'

**"Don't be ridiculous, Ron," said Mr. Weasley, who on closer inspection, looked very strained. "Black's not going to be caught by a thirteen-year-old wizard. It's the Azkaban guards who'll get him back, you mark my words."**

'No they won't' Sirius said bluntly, with a rather worried look on his face.

**At that moment, Mrs. Weasley entered the bar, laden with chopping bags and followed by the twins, Fred and George, who were about to start their fifth year at Hogwarts; the newly elected Head Boy, Percy; and the Weasleys' youngest child and only girl, Ginny. Ginny, who had always been very taken with Harry, seemed even more heartily embarrassed than usual when she saw him, perhaps because he had saved her life during their previous year at Hogwarts. She went very red and muttered "hello" without looking at him.**

'There's that Potter charm working again' Remus laughed.

'Wait a second, Harry saved her life' James looked confused Remus decided just to ignore the comment and read on.

**Percy, however, held out his hand solemnly as though he and Harry had never met and said, "Harry. How nice to see you."**

**"Hello, Percy," said Harry, trying not to laugh.**

The marauders however, sitting in the confines of their dormitory, could laugh all they liked.

**"I hope you're well?" said Percy pompously, shaking hands. IT was rather like being introduced to the mayor.**

**"Very well, thanks - "**

**"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy -"**

Even Remus could barely read from laughing.

**"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."**

'Ha ha,' Sirius barked 'I love Weasleys' he repeated for what seemed the hundredth time that night, 'I don't know who I prefer, Ron or these guys!'

**Percy scowled.**

**"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.**

**"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you -"**

'Corking?'

'Ha ha ha!'

**"I said that's enough," said Mrs. Weasley, depositing her shopping in an empty chair. "Hello, Harry, dear. I suppose you've heard our exciting news?" She pointed to the brand-new silver badge on Percy's chest. "Second Head Boy in the family!" she said, swelling with pride.**

**"And last," Fred muttered under his breath.**

'Too right' muttered James, but Remus, as a prefect looked offended.

**"I don't doubt that," said Mrs. Weasley, frowning suddenly. "I notice they haven't made you two prefects."**

**"What do we want to be prefects for?" said George, looking revolted at the very idea. "It'd take all the fun out of life."**

'Precisely, you can't prank yourself' stated Sirius.

'So it was you two that switched everyone's robes last prefect meeting. Hey that wasn't fair, I ended up wearing that Parkinson girl's from Slytherin' Remus looked mad.

James glared at Sirius for giving them away before the two sent identical charming grins back at Remus, 'who us?'

Remus laughed. Those two could be a bloody pain in the arse sometimes; he often wondered how Mrs Potter coped all summer. He betted she was glad to get rid of them by September.

**Ginny giggled.**

**"You want to set a better example for your sister!" snapped Mrs. Weasley. **

'They set a great example' James defended the twins, 'I wish I'd of had brothers to show me how to be a prankster'

'Oh God' Remus groaned at the thought. James seemed to know enough curses and hexes when he came to Hogwarts at eleven without having an older brother who had passed on knowledge. They had caused enough trouble on their own. James parents were getting letters that often Remus doubted they could cope with another child. Excluding Sirius of course who was practically their own.

**"Ginny's got other brothers to set her an example, Mother," said Percy loftily. "I'm going up to change for dinner..."**

**He disappeared and George heaved a sigh. "We tried to shut him in a pyramid," he told Harry. "But Mum spotted us."**

**Dinner that night was a very enjoyable affair. Tom the innkeeper put three tables together in the parlour, and the seven Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione ate their way through five delicious courses.**

**"How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous chocolate pudding.**

**"The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley.**

**Everyone looked up at him. "Why?" said Percy curiously.**

'Mm, just what I want to know' Remus mumbled.

**"It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them - "**

The twins once more made the marauders laugh.

**" - for Humongous Bighead," said Fred.**

And once they started they couldn't stop.

**Everyone except Percy and Mrs. Weasley snorted into their pudding.**

**"Why's the Ministry providing cars, Father?" Percy asked again, in a dignified voice.**

'Father?' Sirius inquired, 'I bet Arthur's never been addressed so formally in his life!'

**"Well, as we haven't got one anymore," said Mr. Weasley, " - and as I work there, they're doing me a favor - "**

**His voice was casual, but Harry couldn't help noticing that Mr. Weasley's ears had gone red, just like Ron's did when he was under pressure.**

'He's lying, he's lying, he's lying' Remus shouted.

'Shut up and read moony' James told him.

**"Good thing, too," said Mrs. Weasley briskly. "Do you realize how much luggage you've all got between you? A nice sight you'd be on the Muggle Underground...You are all packed, aren't you?"**

**"Ron hasn't put all his new things in his trunk yet," said Percy, in a long-suffering voice. "He's dumped them on my bed."**

'Snitch' (not as in the magical golden one 0) Sirius, James and Remus muttered all together. Although Remus was a prefect, he would rarely tell tales on someone, unless he really didn't like them. I.e. a Slytherin.

**"You'd better go and pack properly, Ron, because we won't have much time in the morning," Mrs. Weasley called down the table. Ron scowled at Percy.**

**After dinner, everyone felt very full and sleepy. One by one they made their way upstairs to their rooms to check their things for the next day. Ron and Percy were next door to Harry. He had just closed and locked his own trunk when he heard angry voices through the wall and went to see what was going on.**

**The door of number twelve was ajar and Percy was shouting. "It was _here_, on the bedside table, I took it off for polishing -"**

**"I haven't touched it, all right?" Ron roared back.**

**"What's up?" said Harry.**

**"My Head Boy badge is gone," said Percy, rounding on Harry.**

'Ooh! What have the twins done?' Sirius got excited.

**"So is Scabbers's rat tonic," said Ron, throwing things out of his trunk to look. "I think I might've left it in the bar - "**

**"You're not going anywhere till you've found my badge!" yelled Percy.**

**"I'll get Scabber's stuff, I'm packed," Harry said to Ron, and he went downstairs. **

**Harry was halfway along the passage to the bar, which was now very dark, when he heard another pair of angry voices coming from the parlor. A second later, he recognized them as Mr. and Mrs. Weasleys'. He hesitated, not wanting them to know he'd heard them arguing, when the sound of his own name made him stop, then move closer to the parlor door."**

'Mm eavesdropping' James put his hands to his chin in a mocking thoughtful way.

'An impeccably useful tool' Sirius continued.

"**It makes no sense not to tell him," Mr. Weasley was saying heatedly. "Harry's got a right to know. I've tried to tell Fudge, but he insists on treating Harry like a child. He's thirteen years old and -"**

**"Arthur, the truth would terrify him!" said Mrs. Weasley shrilly. "Do you really want to send Harry back to school with that hanging over him? For heaven's sake, he's _happy_ not knowing!"**

**"I don't want to make him miserable, I want to put him on his guard!" retorted Mr. Weasley. "You know what Harry and Ron are like, wandering off by themselves - they've ended up in the Forbidden Forest twice! But Harry mustn't do that this year! When I think what could have happened to him that night he ran away from home! If the Knight Bus hadn't picked him up, I'm prepared to bet he would have been dead before the Ministry found him."**

'The truth comes out' James shook his head in mock disgust.

Sirius was grinning. He liked the idea that James' son had already explored the forbidden forest and he was just going into his third year.

**"But he's _not_ dead, so what's the point -"**

**"Molly, they say Sirius Black's mad, and maybe he is, but he was clever enough to escape from Azkaban, and that's supposed to be impossible."**

'I know, I know, I'm amazing, Thank you' Sirius began bowing his head as if he'd won an Oscar.

**"It's been three weeks, and no one's seen hide nor hair of him, and I don't care what Fudge keeps telling the _Daily Prophet_, we're no nearer catching Black than inventing self-spelling wands. The only thing we know for sure is what Black's after - "**

'Probably just food, knowing you Padfoot!' Lupin laughed.

**"But Harry will be perfectly safe at Hogwarts."**

**"We thought Azkaban was perfectly safe. If Black can break out of Azkaban, he can break into Hogwarts."**

'He can do anything, my friend' James proudly clapped Sirius on the back.

**"But no one's really sure that Black's after Harry - "**

James removes his hand and glares at Sirius in disbelief. An awkward silence follows.

**There was a thud on wood, and Harry was sure that Mr. Weasley had banged his fist on the table. "Molly, how many times do I have to tell you? They didn't report it in the press because Fudge wanted it kept quiet, but Fudge went out to Azkaban the night Black escaped. The guards told Fudge that Black's been talking in his sleep for a while now. Always the same words: 'He's at Hogwarts...he's at Hogwarts.' Black is deranged, Molly, and he wants Harry dead. If you ask me, he thinks murdering Harry will bring You-Know-Who back to power. Black lost everything the night Harry stopped You-Know-Who, and he's had twelve years alone in Azkaban to brood on that..."**

The entire room went quiet, something short of a miracle for the four marauders. Remus shakingly reminded the other boys that the book isn't real, to which the others simply laughed awkwardly. To them a few moments ago it had seemed very intense and real.

James tried to change the atmosphere by showing faith in his friend, 'Padfoot'd never do that; he's my best friend. He probably only wants to speak to Harry to arrange some pranks on slytherins' he joked. It sort of worked and Sirius put his arm around his friends shoulder (in a masculine way) to show his gratitude.

**There was a silence. Harry leaned still closer to the door, desperate to hear more.**

**"Well, Arthur, you must do what you think is right. But you're forgetting Albus Dumbledore. I don't think that anything could hurt Harry at Hogwarts while Dumbledore's headmaster. I suppose he knows about all this?"**

**"Of course he knows. We had to ask him if he minds the Azkaban guards stationing themselves around the entrances to the school grounds. He wasn't happy about it, but he agreed."**

**"Not happy? Why shouldn't he be happy, if they're there to catch Black?"**

**"Dumbledore isn't fond of the Azkaban guards," said Mr. Weasley heavily. "Nor am I, if it comes to that...but when you're dealing with a wizard like Black, you sometimes have to join forces with those you'd rather avoid."**

**"If they save Harry -"**

**" - then I will never say another word against them," said Mr. Weasley wearily. "It's late, Molly, we'd better go up..."**

**Harry heard chairs move. As quickly as he could, he hurried down the passage to the bar and out of sight. The parlor door opened, and a few seconds later footsteps told him that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were climbing the stairs. **

**The bottle of rat tonic was lying under the table they had sat at earlier. Harry waited until he heard Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's bedroom door close, then headed back upstairs with the bottle.**

**Fred and George were crouching in the shadows on the landing, heaving with laughter as they listened to Percy dismantling his and Ron's room in search of his badge. "We've got it," Fred whispered to Harry. "We've been improving it." The badge now read _Bighead_ _Boy_.**

'Ha – I knew it' James shouted, 'me and Siri did that to Amos Diggory when we were in second year, he's hated us ever since'. The boys laughed as they remembered this incident. They had never got into trouble for it as they claimed they had yet to learn enough magic to pull it off. Remus found this hilarious. James had known more spells relevant to pranks when he arrived than more seventh years knew when they graduated. He had quickly passed almost all of them onto Sirius.

'Yeah, also because you, a little second year beat him in quidditch' Sirius laughed. This was also true. Griffindor had beat Hufflepuff that year, thanks to some superb flying by James, and Diggory, as head boy and all round pretty boy felt humiliated as he had failed to score many goals at all.

**Harry forced a laugh, went to give Ron the rat tonic, then shut himself in his room and lay down on his bed.**

**So Sirius Black was after him. This explained everything. Fudge had been lenient with him because he was so relieved to find him alive. He'd made Harry promise to stay in Diagon Alley where there were plenty of wizards to keep an eye on him. And he was sending two Ministry cars to take them all to the station tomorrow, so that the Weasleys could look after Harry until he was on the train.**

**Harry lay listening to the muffled shouting next door and wondered why he didn't feel more scared. Sirius Black had murdered thirteen people with one curse; **

**Mr. and Mrs. Weasley obviously thought Harry would be panic-stricken if he knew the truth. But Harry happened to agree wholeheartedly with Mrs. Weasley that the safest place on earth was wherever Albus Dumbledore happened to be. Didn't people always say that Dumbledore was the only person Lord Voldemort had ever been afraid of? Surely Black, as Voldemort's right-hand man, would be just as frightened of him? And then there were those Azkaban guards everyone kept talking about. They seemed to scare most people senseless, and if they were stationed all around the school, Black's chances of getting inside seemed very remote.**

**No, all in all, the thing that bothered Harry most was the fact that his chances of visiting Hogsmeade now looked like zero. Nobody would want Harry to leave the safety of the castle until Black was caught; in fact, Harry suspected his every move would be carefully watched until the danger had passed.**

**He scowled at the dark ceiling. Did they think he couldn't look after himself? He'd escaped Lord Voldemort three times; he wasn't completely useless...**

'Three times?' James asked, 'I thought it was just the once!'

**Unbidden, the image of the beast in the shadows of Magnolia Crescent crossed his mind. _What to do when you know the worst is coming..._**

**"I'm _not_ going to be murdered," Harry said out loud.**

**"That's the spirit, dear," said his mirror sleepily.**

'I love that mirror' laughed Sirius less enthusiastically.

Remus decided that enough was enough and put the book down. This time he was faced with no opposition. For Sirius and James the book had become too, well serious. It had sort of freaked them out the way that it had suggested Padfoot was disloyal to James yet knew so much personal information about them. It had mentioned the cloak, hinted about Sirius' illegal animagus form and described all the characters very realistically. They had for a while, almost felt the book could be true, until then, and it made them feel uneasy. They moaned they were tired and leapt into bed, drawing their curtains, yet it was a long time before any of them went to sleep. There were too many things to think about. Who had sent the book? Was it a Slytherin trying to cause tension between the friends? What did it mean? Why did a part of them feel it was so real?


End file.
